Ted2012

Lori:
[Enters apartment and sees Ted and four hookers on the couch watching TV] Oh...

Ted:
Lori, hey, you're home early.

Lori:
What the hell is this?

Ted:
The ladies and I were just watching Jack and Jill, where Adam Sandler plays a guy and his sister, and it's, it's just awful. It's unwatchable, but y'know, they're hookers. So it's fine.

Lori:
This place is a wreck! Who are these girls?

Ted:
Oh, where are my manners? Lori, this is Angelique, Heavenly, Charene, and Sauvignon Blanc. I love you girls. Y'know, somewhere out there are four terrible fathers I wish I could thank for this great night!

Lori:
[Looks down on floor] What is that?

Ted:
Wha- what is what?

Lori:
There's a... a sh*t on my floor! In the corner, there is a sh*t!

Ted:
Oh, yeah, Yeah, we were playing Truth or Dare, and, uh, Charene was pretty ballsy.

Lori:
There is a sh*t on my floor!

Ted:
Well, or, or, is the floor on the sh*t? Is what Kierkegaard would say.

John:
[John pokes a lobster head from out the door] Rawr!

Ted:
Hahaha!

John:
Who lives here? I'm comin' to get who lives here! You owe me lobster money!

Ted:
Ahahaha! That's my buddy Johnny. Not the lobster, the guy runnin' it.

John:
[Enters the apartment] I found my phone. What's going on.

[John suddenly looks down on the floor]

John:
Is that a sh*t?

[Lori looks at John]