Ten Inch Hero2007

Tish:
[Priestly calls Tish] Beach City Grill. Subs by the inch.

Priestly:
Code blue. Hostile territory. Aborting mission.

Tish:
Who is this?

Priestly:
It's your Renaissance Man. I'm at the store, there's too many enemy tampons. I'm bailing.

Tish:
Alright, stay focused. Describe the situation.

Priestly:
Initial recon appears to be bag or box?

Tish:
Box.

Priestly:
Box. Roger that.

Tish:
Alright, look around chest height. Do you see anything marked regular?

Priestly:
Okay, regular. Uh, here's one but it says slender regular. How can something be both slender and regular? Isn't that mutually exclusive?

Tish:
Priestly...

Priestly:
Unless, of course they're implying in the mysterious underworld of Femboxes that slender is regular.

Tish:
Priestly. Are you done?

Priestly:
Well, what about the Super Pluses?

Tish:
No.

Priestly:
Why not? They sound like better.

Tish:
Don't. They're huge.

Priestly:
I thought you liked huge.

Tish:
This is one area where bigger is not better.

Priestly:
Yeah, well shouldn't you buy all the protection you can get?

[looks at the side of the box]

Priestly:
I mean, it says here it can handle any amount of- Oh my god!

[throw the box in disgust]