The 40 Year Old Virgin2005

Mooj:
[talking to a customer] This is a great TV. Nothing beats a plasma.

Jay:
What are you doing? That's my customer.

Mooj:
It certainly is not. When I came upon her, she was unattended

Jay:
No, no, that's my... She was unattended because I went to the back to get the brochure she requested.

Mooj:
I apologize, but it's too late. The transaction is completed.

Jay:
Then you gonna give me half the commission.

Mooj:
You will receive none of the commission.

Jay:
I need to talk to Paula. This is crazy, man!

Mooj:
This is bullshit! Every time I make a sale, you go crying to Paula. How about... how about Jesse Jackson? Oh, Jesse, he needs a call...

Jay:
I'm sick of you poaching my customers.

Mooj:
I'm sick of your crybaby bullshit!

Jay:
You wanna take this sh*t outside? You wanna just take it outside and just squash it?

Mooj:
Let's stay inside so everybody can see what a p*ssy you have, okay? Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I cannot return it until it has spilt blood.

Jay:
Listen to me, listen to me! You are f***ing with the wrong n*gger.

Mooj:
Hey, hey! You are f***ing with the wrong sand n*gger, okay?

Jay:
I will hang your old ass by your turban!

Mooj:
[Mooj has a very definite Indian accent] Oh, turban, now! Do you see any f***ing turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say, "Hey, Jay, you want a slurpee? You want a slurpee?" F*** you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a f***ing Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?

Jay:
All right, man. Calm down, dude! Look... you still covering my shift on Friday or what?

Mooj:
If I can keep this commission... with pleasure.

Jay:
Cool, man. All right, pops.

[They hug; Jay leaves]