The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)2000

Austin Tichenor:
[reading off names of plays from the program] "Coriolanus"...

Adam Long:
Oh, just, let's just skip it.

Reed Martin:
Why, what... what's the matter with "Coriolanus"?

Adam Long:
[pause] I don't like the anus part. [laughter from audience] I just think... no, I think it's offensive, and we have some young children. [points to Boy in Audience]

Austin Tichenor:
Yeah, you know, that's fine.

Adam Long:
It's not a clever word, kid, I don't...

Boy in Audience:
I'm 13!

Adam Long:
I don't care if you're 20, I don't want to hear you using language like that, young man. [points to Woman next to him] Is this your mommy? [grins, laughter from audience]

Adam Long:
[to Boy] Don't give me the evil eye! Now I know why some animals eat their young. You know, I swear to God.

Austin Tichenor:
Adam, Adam, just... you know, relax... [whispers in Adam's ear] I think, I think that kid could kick your ass, so just leave him alone.

Boy in Audience:
[nods enthusiastically]