Clerks1994

Dante:
You know, that article's accurate. Caitlin's really getting married!

Randal:
You know what I just watched?

Dante:
Me pulling a can off some moron's fist?

Randal:
Return of the Jedi.

Dante:
Didn't you hear me? Caitlin is really getting married!

Randal:
What did you like better? Jedi or The Empire Strikes Back?

Dante:
Empire.

Randal:
Blasphemy.

Dante:
Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.

Randal:
There was something else going on in Jedi. I ever noticed it till today. They build another Death Star, right?

Dante:
Yeah.

Randal:
Now, the first one was completed and fully operational before the Rebel's destroyed it.

Dante:
Luke blew it up. Give credit where credit is due.

Randal:
And the second one was still being built when the blew it up.

Dante:
Compliments to Lando Calrissian.

Randal:
Something just never sat right with me that second time around. I could never put my figure on it, but something just wasn't right.

Dante:
And you figured it out?

Randal:
The first Death Star was manned by the Imperial Army. The only people onboard were stormtroppers, dignitaries, Imperials.

Dante:
Basically.

Randal:
So, when the blew it up, no problem. Evil's punished.

Dante:
And the second time around?

Randal:
The second time around, it wasn't even done being built yet. It was still under construction.

Dante:
So?

Randal:
So, construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.

Dante:
Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at?

Randal:
Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

Dante:
All right, so they bring in independent contractors. Why are you so upset with its destruction?

Randal:
All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed! Casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. All right, look, you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.