Clerks1994

Video Store Customer:
[holding two videos] They say so much, but they never tell you if they're any good. Are either one of these any good? Sir?

Randal:
What?

Video Store Customer:
Are either one of these any good?

Randal:
I don't watch movies.

Video Store Customer:
Well, have you heard anything about either one of them?

Randal:
I find it's best to stay out of other people's affairs.

Video Store Customer:
You mean you've haven't heard anybody say anything about either one of these?

Randal:
Nope.

[The customer turns around and then holds up the same two movies.]

Video Store Customer:
Well, what about these two?

Randal:
Oh, they suck.

Video Store Customer:
These are the same two movies! You weren't paying any attention!

Randal:
No, I wasn't.

Video Store Customer:
I don't think your manager would appreciate-

Randal:
I don't appreciate your ruse, ma'am.

Video Store Customer:
I beg your pardon?

Randal:
Your ruse. Your ruse. Your cunning attempt to trick me.

Video Store Customer:
I was only pointing out that you weren't paying any attention to what I was saying!

Randal:
And I hope it feels good.

Video Store Customer:
You hope what feels good?

Randal:
I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?

Video Store Customer:
Well, this is the last time I rent here!

Randal:
You'll be missed.

Video Store Customer:
Screw you! [leaves]

Randal:
[runs to door] Hey! You're not allowed to rent here anymore!

Jay [standing outside]:
Yeeaahhh!

Randal:
Screw me?