The Shakiest Gun in the West1968

Jesse Heywood:
[drunk] Failure, failure, failure, failure, failure, failure, failure. That's the story of my life, you know. Two things have always been my downfall - I have always been the most failure of anybody, and I'm too thin.

Saloon Girl:
[drunk] But I don't think you're too thin.

Jesse Heywood:
Ah, it's all bloat. Bloated thin failure! That's me. [waggles both of his thumbs at himself]

Saloon Girl:
I think you're wonderful. I just love a man that can't make his mark in life.

Jesse Heywood:
Uhuh Penny, uhuh Penny, she's really something, you know that? [looks at saloon girl questioningly]

Saloon Girl:
[nods affirmatively] Uhuh.

Jesse Heywood:
You know she used me. She tricked me. [tearfully] She made me think that she loved me.

Saloon Girl:
[shakes her head sympathetically] Ohhh...

Jesse Heywood:
I should have known better. [tearfully] Nobody ever loved me. Did you know I had to take my own cousin to the graduation dance?

Saloon Girl:
[shakes her head sympathetically and tearfully] Ohhhhhhhhhh...

Jesse Heywood:
I threw up on her dress.

Saloon Girl:
[slurring] You are really my kind of guy.