Despicable Me 2

Silas:
Good afternoon, Mr. Gru.

Gru:
[weakly] Yeah...

Silas:
I apologize for our methods of getting you there.

Lucy:
I don't! I'd do it again in a heartbeat! And I am not gonna lie, I enjoyed that. Every second of it. Gave me a bit of a buzz, actually...

Silas:
[interrupts Lucy] That's enough, Agent Wilde.

Lucy:
Sorry, sir.

Gru:
Okay, this is bogus! [peels the starfish off his head and drops it onto Stuart's, who is made fun by Dave a second later] I don't know who you people think you are, but...

Silas:
We are the Anti-Villain League. An ultra-secret organization dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale. Rob a bank? We're not interested. Kill someone? Not our deal. But if you want to melt the polar ice caps? Or Vaporize Mount Fuji? Or even [points his golden tea spoon at Gru] steal the moon? Then we notice.

Gru:
First of all, you got no proof that I did that. Second, after I did do that, I put it back!

Silas:
We're well aware of that, Mr. Gru. That's why we brought you here. I am the league's director, Silas Ramsbottom.

Stuart:
[smirks] Bottom. [starts laughing along with Dave]

Silas:
[unamused] Hilarious. [sighs; to Lucy] Agent Wilde...

Lucy:
Oh, me now? [turns to the screen, which reveals the crime being commited earlier at the beginning] Um, recently an entire top secret lab disappeared from the Artic Circle. Yeah, the entire lab. Just whoosh. Voom. Gone. Where did it go?

Gru:
[uninterested] I don't care.

Lucy:
Hmm, the lab was devoted to experiments involving PX-41. A transmutation serum. What is PX-41, you ask? Mmm, It's pretty bad... Look.

[One of the scientists on the monitor injects a bunny with PX-41 serum. Once he does, Gru, Dave and Stuart lightly wince with disgust, but become interested once they see the injected bunny mutate into a purple monster. But when the mutated bunny attacks the scientist, threatening to kill him, Dave and Stuart pass out in shock once seeing this while Gru covers his eyes with his arms until the mutant attacks the camera and the video ends.]

Gru:
[opens his eyes] Huh, you usually don't see that in bunnies.

Silas:
As you can see, in the wrong hands, the PX-41 serum, could be the most devestating weapon on Earth. [struggles to get through a table opening] Fortunately, it has a very distinct chemical footprint. And, using our latest chem tracking technology, we have found traces of it in Paradise Mall.

Gru:
[scoffs] A mall?

Silas:
Precisely. And we believe one of these shop owners is a master criminal. And that's where you come in. As an ex-villain, you know how a villain thinks, how a villain acts.

Lucy:
The plan is to set you up undercover at a shop in the mall where hopefully...

Gru:
[cuts her off] Okay! I see where this is going, with all the Mission Impossible stuff, but no. No! [calmly] I'm a father now. And a legitimate business man. I am developing a line of delicious jams and jellies.

Silas:
[laughs mockingly] "Jams and jellies"?

Gru:
Oh, attitude! That's right! So thanks, but no thanks. [pauses] And here's a tip: Instead of tazing people and kidnapping them, [angrily] maybe you should just give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt!

Silas:
[calmly] Ramsbottom.

Gru:
[chuckles; sarcastically] Yeah, like that's any better.