The Tunnel of Love1958

Dick Pepper:
[Expressing indignation over the fact that adoption agencies conduct background checks on prospective parents and their co-signers] Investigated? You mean they might be sneaking behind our backs without our knowing it?

August 'Augie' Poole:
Sure. They'll assign a caseworker to us. A woman with her hair spun back in a bun, and a mouth like a mail slot. Typical 'American Gothic.' And leave us ask ourselves, what virtues she'll expect to find in the prospective parents and, uh, their co-signers. First, uh, stability, then solvency, next, uh, sobriety... and finally... chastity. [Dick starts to look very uncomfortable upon hearing this]