The Wizard of Speed and Time1988

[Mike tries to join the Directors' Union:
]

Mike:
Hello, hi.

Directors' Union Clerk:
Can I help you?

Mike:
Yes, how do I join the Directors' Union?

Directors' Union Clerk:
You need to bring in a copy of the deal memo by your studio producer before you can pay your initiation fee and be cleared by Union Council, thank you...

Mike:
Uh, excuse me, what is the initiation fee?

Directors' Union Clerk:
Seven thousand dollars, with a hundred dollar application fee, two hundred dollars every quarter, and ten percent of your salary.

Mike:
Uhhh, seven thousand dollars, what is that for?

Directors' Union Clerk:
That's the amount you pay to get into our union.

Mike:
What is it, like Social Security? I get it back when I retire?

Directors' Union Clerk:
Absolutely not! What is your classification?

Mike:
Uh, well, I'm directing special effects with a small crew.

Directors' Union Clerk:
Well, then you must have an Assistant Director, a Second AD, and a UPM, all signed with the DUA.

Mike:
All I'm directing is animation!

Directors' Union Clerk:
Well then discuss that with the Animators' Union.