The Wrong Box1966

[last lines]

Detective:
All right, come on, come on, what's going on? Come on, what is it? Come on!

Clergyman:
Please, sir, I beg of you, there's a dead man here.

Detective:
All right, no one move! [long pause while he realizes it's a church burial] Finsbury?

Michael Finsbury, Julia Finsbury, Masterman Finsbury, Joseph Finsbury, Morris, John Finsbury:
Yes?

Detective:
MORRIS Finsbury!

John Finsbury:
[turning Morris around and pointing at him] Yes.

Detective:
Morris Finsbury, I arrest you for stealing ?100,000.

Lawyer Patience:
But the money has been returned, sir.

Detective:
Who are you, sir? Some sort of accomplice?

Lawyer Patience:
Certainly not: I am his solicitor.

Detective:
Oh, you've brought your solicitor with you, have you? Yes, I've met your type before.

Lawyer Patience:
No, no, no. I mean, I, I, I'm the administrator of the tontine.

Detective:
Tontine?

Joseph Finsbury:
Named after Lorenzo Tonti, a Neapolitan banker.

Detective:
And who are you, sir?

Joseph Finsbury:
I...

Masterman Finsbury:
[interrupting] He's nobody. He's my young brother.

Detective:
And who are you, sir?

Masterman Finsbury:
None of your business, sir!

Detective:
I shall have you arrested for indecent exposure!

Julia Finsbury:
Oh!

Michael Finsbury:
My grandfather was recently buried, sir.

Detective:
And who are you, sir?

Julia Finsbury:
He is Michael Finsbury.

Detective:
And who are YOU, madam?

Michael Finsbury:
She is Julia Finsbury, shortly to become... Julia Finsbury!

Detective:
Young man, did you know there was a body in the piano?

Peacock:
I did it.

Detective:
Who is he?

Michael Finsbury:
He is the butler, sir.

Detective:
The butler did it?

Michael Finsbury:
No, sir. I put the body there.

Detective:
Is this true?

Michael Finsbury:
Yes sir.

Detective:
In that case, you are entitled to a reward of ?1,000. You are responsible for bringing the Bournemouth Strangler to his just end.

Michael Finsbury:
A, a thousand pounds? Oh, but I-I-I don't, I don't deserve it. The body just arrived in a barrel.

John Finsbury:
I sent it.

Detective:
And who are you, sir?

Morris Finsbury:
He is of diminished responsibility, officer. It was all my doing. If there's any justice in this naughty world, the reward is mine.

Detective:
And WHO are YOU?

[falls into open grave]

Morris Finsbury:
You remember me - Morris Finsbury. I was falsely accused of stealing a hundred thousand pounds, whereas in fact it was me, and me alone, who was responsible for bringing the Bournemouth Strangler to his just desserts.