Torin's Passage1995

[as Torin is about to enter the Bitternuts' house, the show begins]

Radio Announcer:
Live... on CD-ROM... from beautiful cliffside Escarpa... it's "The Bitternuts"! With Jack Kluckman as Mr. Bitternut...

[phony canned applause]

Radio Announcer:
...and starring Sandra Bullhockey as Mrs. Bitternut...

[phony canned applause]

Radio Announcer:
...with Vinyl MacCaulking as little Bobby Bitternut.

[phony sereams & canned applause]

Radio Announcer:
[after the opening theme] Tonight we join "The Bitternuts" just as they hear a knock on their door...

[knock knock knock]

Mrs. Bitternut:
Just a minute... Harley, can you get that? Oh, never mind. Do I have to do everything around here? Coming!

[Mrs. Bitternut opens the door. Torin is standing outside]

Mrs. Bitternut:
Yeow! Aren't you the giant, economy-sized visitor?

[phony laugh track]

Mrs. Bitternut:
You know, I'd ask you in, but I'm not sure there's enough air in here!

[phony laugh track]

Mrs. Bitternut:
Harley? Take a look at this guy! This is what a REAL man looks like!

[phony laugh track]

Mrs. Bitternut:
Harley? Oh, honey, don't mind him! He's just acting his IQ!

[phony laugh track]

Mrs. Bitternut:
So, do you want to come in? Or maybe that should be, "CAN" you come in?

[phony laugh track]

Torin:
[enters] Why, thank you. I will.

[phony laugh track]