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[as Torin is about to enter the Bitternuts' house, the show begins]Radio Announcer: Live... on CD-ROM... from beautiful cliffside Escarpa... it's "The Bitternuts"! With Jack Kluckman as Mr. Bitternut...[phony canned applause]Radio Announcer: ...and starring Sandra Bullhockey as Mrs. Bitternut...[phony canned applause]Radio Announcer: ...with Vinyl MacCaulking as little Bobby Bitternut.[phony sereams & canned applause]Radio Announcer: [after the opening theme] Tonight we join "The Bitternuts" just as they hear a knock on their door...[knock knock knock]Mrs. Bitternut: Just a minute... Harley, can you get that? Oh, never mind. Do I have to do everything around here? Coming![Mrs. Bitternut opens the door. Torin is standing outside]Mrs. Bitternut: Yeow! Aren't you the giant, economy-sized visitor?[phony laugh track]Mrs. Bitternut: You know, I'd ask you in, but I'm not sure there's enough air in here![phony laugh track]Mrs. Bitternut: Harley? Take a look at this guy! This is what a REAL man looks like![phony laugh track]Mrs. Bitternut: Harley? Oh, honey, don't mind him! He's just acting his IQ![phony laugh track]Mrs. Bitternut: So, do you want to come in? Or maybe that should be, "CAN" you come in?[phony laugh track]Torin: [enters] Why, thank you. I will.[phony laugh track]

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