Valentine's Day2010/I

[finishes phone sex conversation and turns around]

Liz:
Oh, God.

Jason:
That is a really weird way to talk to your boss.

Liz:
It's not what you think

Jason:
Really?

[feigned sigh]

Jason:
Awesome, because, what I think it is, is you leaving me at dinner to talk dirty to your boyfriend Stanley.

Liz:
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[feign sigh]

Jason:
What a relief to know you're not someone who licks people all up and down with their scratchy kitty-cat tongue.

Liz:
I moonlight as an adult phone entertainer.

Jason:
Like... phone sex?

Liz:
Yes. This is the busiest day of the year for phone sex. Surprise...

Jason:
Why didn't you tell me?

Liz:
OK, um. I'm broke. I have a 100K student loan, I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to pay off, I have no health insurance. And, so, if you know of a job, that will pay a poetry-major $40 an hour with her clothes on, I'm all ears.

Jason:
OK. I'm out.

Liz:
Are you gonna call me?

Jason:
Well, you know, I'd like to say yes. But... I don't know if I can afford it.

[beat; Liz turns, Jason chases]

Jason:
I'm sorry. That was, I'm sorry. Come on, you know I didn't mean that.