Forgetting Sarah Marshall2008

Rachel Jansen:
Welcome to Turtle Bay- what can I do for you?

Peter Bretter:
I'm checking in. My name's Bretter- Peter Bretter- but actually, I don't have a reservation. Just thought I'd... take my chances. (smiles weakly)

Rachel Jansen:
Oh! (raises her eyebrows) Wow- bold! (she looks through the registrar) We are all booked up, but we do have the Kapua Suite available.

Peter Bretter:
Um, okay- how much is that?

Rachel Jansen:
$6,000 a night.

Peter Bretter:
...wow.

Rachel Jansen:
Beautiful views.

Peter Bretter:
I can imagine... that's a little bit out of my price range. Sorry. (he looks around) That's a shame- this is such a beautiful- (he jumps as he looks out the window and sees Sarah walking by outside in her bikini)- hotel.

Rachel Jansen:
(follows his gaze) Oh, yeah, it's Sarah Marshall from Crime Scene. (laughs) People are excited that she's here.

Peter Bretter:
(swallows) She's my ex-girlfriend- we broke up three weeks ago.

Rachel Jansen:
(startled) Oh- I'm sorry, sir.

Peter Bretter:
Okay, like, this is fine, right?

Rachel Jansen:
Sir-?

Peter Bretter:
It's totally fine- (looks over his shoulder and sees Sarah entering the lobby) Okay, there she is. (He turns back to the desk; Sarah notices him) Did she see me?

Rachel Jansen:
Uh-huh.

Peter Bretter:
is she coming over here?

Rachel Jansen:
Yup.

Peter Bretter:
I wish I wasn't wearing this f***ing shirt.

Rachel Jansen:
Fair enough- why don't you try unbuttoning it?(Peter opens the top two buttons of the shirt and looks at her for approval) Button it back up. (as he does so, Sarah comes up to the desk and he turns to face her.)

Sarah Marshall:
Peter?

Peter Bretter:
Hey- Hi.

Sarah Marshall:
...What are you doing here?

Peter Bretter:
(deadpan)...I came here to murder you. (chuckles hysterically)

Sarah:
(suspiciously) Really- what are you doing here?

Peter Brenner:
...I have been having a tough time, you know, back in L.A.- uh- but then, I came here, and here you are. I just think that's too crazy to-

Aldous Snow:
(enters the lobby) Hey there, little sex object! (slaps Sarah's rear and kisses her forehead, catching her off-guard) I've lost a shoe (holds up a black flip-flop) Have you seen it anywhere? (doesn't notice Peter staring at him, or Sarah staring at Peter) It's like this one, but obviously it's- um- opposite of-um, excuse me, Misses? (to Rachel) I've lost a shoe- it's like this one- it's like, this one's fellow- sort of like the exact opposite of this one, in fact-

Rachel Jansen:
(sarcastically) Uh-huh?

Aldous Snow:
Not like, an evil version, but just, you know- a shoe, like this, but for the other foot, otherwise I'd have to-

Sarah Marshall:
Aldous, this is Peter (indicates him)

Aldous Snow:
Hey! Alright, Peter! Nice to meet you, mate. (shakes hands with Peter and shoulder-bumps him) Aldous- good to meet you, man. (Peter nods, looking irritated)

Sarah Marshall:
My ex-boyfriend.

Aldous Snow:
Oh, right! Hey, I'm Aldous Snow.

Peter Bretter:
I know who you are, yeah- you're very, very famous.

Aldous Snow:
Yeah, I am, I am- for my sins. So, are you, um, staying here as well?

Peter Bretter:
I'm not, as a matter-

Rachel Jansen:
I'm sorry- excuse me, Mr. Bretter, Ms. Marshall- (to Peter) But, we were, um, able to book the Kapua suite for you, sir, for four nights. (Surprised, Peter looks back at Aldous and Sarah- Aldous looks equally surprised, Sarah looks shocked and angry)

Peter Bretter:
You were?

Rachel Jansen:
(smiles and nods) Yes, sir.

Peter Bretter:
(Looks back and forth between Rachel and Aldous/Sarah) Marvelous!

Aldous Snow:
Perfect! Perfect amount of time. Listen, if you want to have dinner with us one of those nights, you're very-

Sarah Marshall:
(sharply) Aldous!

Peter Bretter:
No. No, that's very gentlemanly of you, but, uh, you two enjoy your trip, and, uh, I'll be just fine on my own (with a gesture of superiority) in my Kapua Suite.

Aldous Snow:
Alright, Peter.

Sarah Marshall:
Have a good trip, Pete.

Aldous Snow:
I like your shirt- it's colorful. (he and Sarah walk away) Bye, ta-ta! (to Sarah) I was wearing two shoes this morning, wasn't I?

Peter Bretter:
Bye, now. ( swallows, turns back to Rachel) Thank you. Thank you for bailing me out like that, but I still can't afford that room.

Rachel Jansen:
Nobody can- it's for, like, Oprah, or like, Celine Dion. Really, it's not a big deal. So, you can stay in the suite, but since you're not technically a guest, you have to clean up after yourself. (hands him a key) Otherwise, here is your room key, and enjoy your stay! (smiles; a bellhop notices what she's doing an grins to himself)

Peter Bretter:
(bewildered)... Why are you doing this for me?

Rachel Jansen:
(pause, glances in the direction Sarah and Aldous took) She's here with some guy, already? Kind of messed up.

Peter Bretter:
Yeah, right?! Thank you-

Rachel Jansen:
Really, it's not a big deal- go, go enjoy yourself!

Peter Bretter:
(tries to read her nametag) Rachel...

Rachel Jansen:
Jansen.

Peter Bretter:
Jansen. I mean, a thousand times, thank you! You know what I mean? I-

Rachel Jansen:
Go- go enjoy yourself!