The Fortune Cookie1966

Nun:
Oh, I . . . I'm terribly sorry.

William H. "Whiplash Willie" Gingrich:
All my fault, Sister. I was just trying to, uh, I'm his brother-in-law, Sister.

Nun:
I see.

William H. "Whiplash Willie" Gingrich:
And this is his mother, Sister, and this is my wife, his sister, Sister.

Nun:
How do you do?

William H. "Whiplash Willie" Gingrich:
We were sort of anxious to find out if, uh . . .

Nun:
I understand. But it'll be a few more minutes.

[The nun walks off.]

William H. "Whiplash Willie" Gingrich:
Thank you, Sister. [to his sobbing mother-in-law] Shut up, Mother.

Harry Hinkle's mother:
Poor Harry. He was always so brittle. [to Charlotte Gingrich] Remember when he fell off the garage?

Charlotte Gingrich:
Oh, Mother, not that old story again.

William H. "Whiplash Willie" Gingrich:
What story?

Harry Hinkle's mother:
When they were kids in Toledo, he and Charlotte were playing paratrooper. She pushed him off the roof.

Charlotte Gingrich:
I didn't push him, he jumped. And anyway, he had an umbrella. Is it my fault if he forgot to open it?