In the Loop2009

Malcolm Tucker:
[reading a newspaper] "While Foster jets around at the taxpayer's expense, his constituent's wall is collapsing and he doesn't give a sh*t!"

Simon Foster:
It doesn't say that.

Malcolm Tucker:
No, but it does say "Wall-ace and Gromit"!

Simon Foster:
Wall-Ace, though!

Malcolm Tucker:
You're being portrayed as the biggest twat in Northamptonshire, and that's going, son! I've got bigger fish to fry, believe me. I'm giving this to someone else. [shouts outside his office] Jamie!

Simon Foster:
Ah, the crossest man in Scotland.

Jamie MacDonald:
[enters the office] Well, if it isn't Humpty Numpty!

Simon Foster:
What is this? Surround bollocking?

Jamie MacDonald:
Hey, with all due respect I wasn't finished. If it isn't Humpty Numpty, sitting on top of a collapsing wall like some clueless... egg c*nt. Now I'm finished.

Simon Foster:
Hi, Jamie! This is Toby!

Toby Wright:
Hi, I'm Simon's aide.

Jamie MacDonald:
Toby, very nice to meet you, please, sit down. Right, that's enough all the f***ing Oxbridge pleasantries!

Toby Wright:
What's Oxbridge about saying hello?

Jamie MacDonald:
SHUT IT, Love Actually! Do you want me to hole-punch your face?!

Malcolm Tucker:
Right, I'm off to deal with the fate of the planet. Be gentle with them!

Jamie MacDonald:
You know me, Malc, kid gloves, but made from real kids.

Malcolm Tucker:
Haha. [leaves.]

Jamie MacDonald:
Right. Butch and Gaydance, this wall story is playing badly, there's a cartoon in here of you as a walrus!

Simon Foster:
A walrus? I'm not fat, I don't even have a moustache. F***, they've given me tusks!

Jamie MacDonald:
Wall-rus? Do you get it? Wall-rus. Wall-rus.

Toby Wright:
Well, we called some builders, they didn't turn up-

Jamie MacDonald:
Well, what did you expect?! THEY'RE BUILDERS! Have you ever seen a film where the hero is a builder? NO! IT'S 'CAUSE THEY NEVER F***ING TURN UP IN THE NICK OF TIME! Bat-builder?! Spider-builder?! That's why you never see a superhero with a hod!