The Jungle Book1967

Col. Hathi:
[looking closely at a recruit's trunk] Tsk, tsk, tsk. A dusty muzzle. [to elephant in question] Soldier, remember in battle, that trunk can save your life. [taps trunk with cane] Take good care of it, my man.

Elephant #2:
Yes, sir!

Col. Hathi:
Very good. Carry on.

[the next recruit has dirty tusks and is lazily chewing on some vegetation.]

Col. Hathi:
[clears his throat in annoyance] Let's have a little more spit and polish on those bayonets. [taps tusk with cane]

Elephant #3:
Yes, sir!

Col. Hathi:
Esprit de corps! That's the way I earned my commission in the Mahajarah's 5th Pachyderm Brigade. Back in '88, it was. Or was it...?

Winifred:
[whispering to another elephant] Here it comes. The "Victoria Cross" bit again.

Col. Hathi:
It was then I received the Victoria Cross, for bravery above and beyond the call of duty. [chuckles] Those were the days. Discipline! Discipline was the thing! [leans on his cane] It builds character and all that sort of thing, you know--

[Hathi's cane snaps as he leans on it]

Col. Hathi:
Oh! Um... Where was I? Oh, yes. Inspection.

[The next recruit is a rough-looking elephant with bent tusks and a black eye]

Col. Hathi:
Very good. Carry on.

[The next recruit is an elephant with a goofy looking grin across his face]

Col. Hathi:
Wipe off that silly grin, soldier! This is the army.

[The elephant's smile droops into a sad frown, making his tusks droop. The next recruit is focused on a fly buzzing around his face which lands on his trunk]

Col. Hathi:
Ahem. [swats the fly with his cane] Eyes front.

[Next, the lieutenant, with a mop of hair]

Col. Hathi:
Tsk, tsk, tsk. Lieutenant, that haircut is not regulation. [messes the hair up] Rather on the gaudy side, don't you think?

[Hathi swipes his cane across, giving the lieutenant a military style flat-top haircut]

Col. Hathi:
There. That's better.

[Hathi looks to the left]

Col. Hathi:
And as for you--

[Realises that he's talking to his son, Junior. Looks down]

Col. Hathi:
Oh, there you are. [chuckles] Let's keep those heels together, shall we, son?

Junior:
OK, Pop-- sir!

Col. Hathi:
Yes, that's better.

[Turns to Mowgli]

Col. Hathi:
Well, a new recruit, eh? [chuckles and pokes Mowgli's nose with his cane] I say, what happened to your trunk?

Mowgli:
Hey! Stop that!

Col. Hathi:
[gasps, sputters] A Man-cub! [picking up Mowgli with trunk] Oh, this is treason! Sabotage! I'll have no Man-cub in my jungle! [puts him down on ground]

Mowgli:
It's not your jungle!

Bagheera:
Hold it. Hold it! I can explain, Hathi.

Col. Hathi:
Colonel Hathi, if you please, sir.

Bagheera:
Oh, yes, yes. Colonel Hathi. The Man-cub is with me. I'm taking him back to the Man Village.

Col. Hathi:
To stay?

Bagheera:
You have the word of Bagheera.

Col. Hathi:
Good. And remember, an elephant never forgets. [mumbling] Heh. I don't know what the army's coming to these days. These young whippersnappers, who do they think they are?