The Jungle Book1967

Kaa:
Oh, now what? I'll be right down. [gets down from the tree almost completely] Yes? Yes? Who is it?

Shere Khan:
It's me. Shere Khan. I'd like a word with you if you don't mind.

Kaa:
Shere Khan. What a surprise.

Shere Khan:
Yes, isn't it? I just dropped by. Now, forgive me if I've interrupted anything.

Kaa:
Oh,no. No. Nothing at all.

Shere Khan:
I thought perhaps you were entertaining someone up there in your coils.

Kaa:
Coils? Someone? Oh, no. I was just curling up for my siesta.

Shere Khan:
But you were singing to someone. [squeezes Kaa's throat] Who is it, Kaa?

Kaa:
[choking like mad] No... no... I was just... singing... uh.... to myself.

Shere Khan:
Indeed?

Kaa:
Yes. You see, I have... trouble with my sinuses.

Shere Khan:
What a pity. [releases Kaa's neck and gently pins him to the ground]

Kaa:
Oh, you have no idea. It's simply terrible. I can't eat. I can't sleep. So, I sing myself to sleep. You know, self-hypnosis? [smiles deviously, brings his head close to Shere Khan's face] Let me show you how it works. [He uses his hypnosis technique with his eyes] "Trust in me...."

[Shere Khan, unaffected, pushes Kaa away and pins his head to the ground]

Shere Khan:
Oh, no, I can't be bothered with that. I have no time for that sort of nonsense.

Kaa:
Some other time, perhaps?

Shere Khan:
Perhaps. But at the moment, I'm searching for a Man-cub.

Kaa:
Man-cub? What Man-cub?

Shere Khan:
The one who's lost. Now, where do you suppose he could be?

Kaa:
Search me.

Shere Khan:
That's an excellent idea. Now, I'm sure you wouldn't mind showing me your coils would you, Kaa?

Kaa:
Certainly not. Nothing in there. [lowering his tail] And nothing in here. [his tail pointing to his mouth open]

Mowgli:
[snoring]

Kaa:
[snorting] It's my sinuses.

Shere Khan:
Hmm. Indeed. And now, how about the middle?

Kaa:
The middle? Oh, the middle. [lowering the middle leaving Mowgli on the tree trunk spinning around and showing Shere Khan the middle of his coils and then getting tickled] Absolutely nothing in the middle!

Shere Khan:
Hmm. Really? Well, if you do just happen to see the Man-cub, you will inform me first. Understand? (scrathing Kaa's neck gently)

Kaa:
I-I-I-I get the point. [spinning himself into a bow with his head on top] Cross my heart, hope to die.

Shere Khan:
Good show. And now, I must continue my search for the helpless little lad.

Kaa:
Ooh, who does he think he's fooling? "The helpless little lad"... ooooh, he gives me the shhhhhhivers. [Kaa's shivering wakes up Mowgli] Picking on that poor, little, helpless boy. [smiling] Oh yes... poor, little, helpless boy...

[Mowgli pushes the rest of Kaa off the branches and sends him falling to the ground (again)]

Mowgli:
[climbs down the tree] You told me a lie, Kaa! You said I could trust you!

Kaa:
It's like you sssaid: you can't trusssst anyone! [tries to strike Mowgli, only to caught in by a knot in his tail; when he pulls it out, his body comes back like an accordion] If I never see that ssskinny little shrimp again, it will be too soon. My poor sssacriliac.