Heathers1989

Dennis:
I'm not belittling the Foodless Fund, Peter, but we're talking teen suicide here! Ask Alison: The number-one song in America today is Teenage Suicide (Don't Do It) by Big Fun. Jesus, man! Westerburg finally got one of these, and I'm not about to blow it!

Peter:
Great. So Heather gets the front page and I get crammed in by the Taco Bell coupon.

Veronica:
Hi, guys. Came to check on this week's [sees the Heather Chandler Yearbook Spread] Lunchtime Poll Topic.

Dennis:
[helps Veronica sit down] Hey, take it easy, Veronica, sit down! That funeral yesterday must have really been rough, huh? [trying to get Veronica's mind off the funeral] We were wondering if you had any poems, artwork that Heather did that we can put in the Heather Chandler Yearbook Spread.

Veronica:
[looks at Dennis with barely concealed horror] The WHAT?!

Dennis:
[leads Veronica to the display of the Yearbook Spread] Take a look at this. It's a two-page layout with her suicide note right up here in the corner. [sees Veronica's disgust] It's more tasteful than it sounds!

Veronica:
I don't know, Dennis. This stuff leaves a bad taste in my mouth. . . .

Courtney:
[she was listening; what a surprise] Like last night, Veronica? [she and her friend giggle in a conspiritorial manner]

Veronica:
[gives Courtney a WTF look] Excuse me? I don't get it.

Courtney:
What you did last night. Kurt told us of your little date.

Veronica:
[scoffs] Yeah, and? I left him drunk and flailing in cow sh*t.

Courtney:
I don't know. He was really detailed.

Peter:
Shut up, Courtney.

Veronica:
No, don't shut up! I'd like to know exactly what I did!

Peter:
[pulling Veronica aside] C'mon, Veronica; I'll show you the Poll Topic.

Veronica:
What the f***?

Peter:
Okay, now I RARELY listen to Neanderthals like Kurt Kelly, BUT he said he and Ram had a nice little sword fight in your mouth last night. Know what I mean?

Veronica:
[disgusted] EW! That son of a b*tch!