The Mystery of Mamo1978

[Mamo shows Lupin and Fujiko surveillance footage of Jigen and Goemon]

Mamo:
[chuckling] Friends of yours, Lupin?

Fujiko:
Huh?!

Lupin:
How the Hell did they get here?!

Mamo:
Ah, but wait. There’s more!

[Inspector Zenigata, with a picture of Lupin, is shown questioning Laozi of his location]

Lupin:
Zenigata! [laughs] He always said he’d follow me into the depths of Hell!

Mamo:
Look. He’s interrogating Lao Tzu, the great ancient Philosopher.

Lupin:
Or some fruitcake who thinks he’s Lao Tzu…

Mamo:
It is Lao Tzu!

Lupin:
Okeydokey!

[Mamo shows them images of the people he has cloned]

Mamo:
Laugh if you will, but this is the work of 10,000 years. A masterwork, if I say so myself. The leading lights of science, philosophy, art. All under one roof, and all are perfectly real!

Lupin:
Hm! So, sort of a Noah's Ark?

Mamo:
Let’s just say that if you’ve never given any thought about the world, starting now would either be a particularly good idea, or a pathetically pointless one, if you catch my drift, Mr. Lupin.

Lupin:
Uh?!

Mamo:
Because the time is nigh, Mr. Lupin, but sadly the guest list is... quite short. Only the elite of history’s most brilliant and beautiful people!

Lupin:
[apparently deep in thought] Oh, uh... I'm sorry to hear that. [chuckles, then laughs hysterically]

Mamo:
I imagine you are.

Lupin:
[still laughing] No, I mean, it’s just after all that work – an ugly, demented gnome like you isn’t even eligible!

Mamo:
Huh. Quite annoying. That’s exactly what I’m talking about, my dear Fujiko. Obviously, eternal life would be wasted on a vulgarian like that man there.

Fujiko:
[put off by Mamo's statement] Hm.

Lupin:
[mistaking 'vulgarian' for 'vegetarian'] That’s not true. I eat meat!

Mamo:
He’s not even in our class. In fact, he’s barely in our species!

Fujiko:
Well, if Lupin can’t come along, I’m not interested.

Mamo:
Fujiko!

Fujiko:
No, Mamo. I'm sorry.

Lupin:
Hm?!

Fujiko:
He’s hard enough to take now. Imagine him all grumpy and flabby!