Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas2000

Clock Operator:
Only 4 hours till Christmas!

Narrator: Yes, the Grinch knew. Tomorrow all the Who girls and boys would wake bright and early and rush for their toys.

Grinch: And then, all the noise! All the noise, noise, noise, NOISE!! They'll bang on tong-tinglers. They'll blow their ?oo-?ounders. They'll crash on jang-jinglers and bounce on boing-bounders!

Narrator: Then Whos young and old would sit down to a feast. And they'll feast, and they'll feast.

Grinch: And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast! They'll eat their Who pudding, and rare Who roast BEAST... which is something I just cannot stand in the least. Oh, no. I'm speaking in rhyme! Aah! [drops to his knees] BLAST YOU, WHOS! [sobs]

Narrator:
And the more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring, the more the Grinch thought...

Grinch: I must stop this whole thing. Why, for year after year, I've put up with it now! I must stop this Christmas from coming, but how? [gasps] I mean, "In what way?". [gags, disgusted; as he goes inside his cave, he sees Max dancing right behind the doghouse; to Max, snickering] Are you having a holly... jolly... Christmas? [record needle scratches] WRONG-O! [throws Max and his doghouse out. He peers over the edge at the dog-shaped hole in the snow as Max whimpers] Hmph! [he jumps to the hole, and picks up Max, who is covered in snow] If you're not going to help me, then you might as well--

Narrator:
Then he got an idea; an awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful... awful idea.

Grinch:
I know... just what to do. [smiles sneakily and points his pointer finger up with a "Ding!" sound effect]

[scene cuts to the Grinch cutting a coat-shaped hole in the red fabric, and sewing the fabric]

Narrator:
The Grinch laughed in his throat...

Grinch:
Ha!

Narrator:
...And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.

[loud crunch]

Grinch:
Oh-ho-ho! [sees his fingers sewn to the red fabric and faints in shock and pain; later, admires himself in the mirror, dressed in the finished outfit]

Narrator:
And he chuckled and clucked at this great Grinchy trick.

Grinch: With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick! Ho, ho, ho! [singing] ? You're a mean one… Mr. Grinch! ? ? You really are a heel. ?

Jim Carrey: ? You're as cuddly as a cactus, and as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch! ? You're a bad banana with a... ? greasy black peel! ? [scene cuts to the Grinch riding ziplines] ? Just face the music, you're a monster, Mr. Grinch. ? Yes, you are!

Grinch:
[singing] ? Your heart's an empty hoooooooole! ?

Jim Carrey: ? Your brain is full of spiders and you got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. ? Mmm… ? I wouldn't touch you with a… 39-and-a-half-foot pooooooooole! ?

[Max brings the Grinch a "5/8" spanner]

Grinch:
I asked for 3/4, not 5/8. Stay focused! [The Grinch brings the 5/8 spanner back to Max.]

Jim Carrey: You know if you asked every Who's Who of Whoville… ? No one would deny it. ? [Grinch holds note as Max presses the button, making the Grinch launch faster, until it hits the "HIT HERE" sign, making Jim Carrey cough]

Grinch:
Ow. [lifts his head up after a dummy crash test] Airbag's a little slow... [Airbags come out.] ...But that's what these tests are for! [Max barks, and the Grinch lets his head drop back down] ? You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch. Given the choice between you, I'd take the... seasick crocodile! ? [holds note while spinning around but yells and holds his mouth as he grunts.]