Cheaper by the Dozen2003

Mark:
Mom, Beans is dead.

Sarah:
Nobody cares about your stupid frog right now, FedEx, okay?

Mark:
(Annoyed and irritated) Stop calling me that! (charges at her, causing the whole family to start a heated argument)

Kate:
Don't you dare call him that!

Tom:
All right! Hey!

Kate:
Stop! Stop!

Cameraman 1:
What's the name of this segment again?

Cameraman 2:
Uh, "One Big Happy Family"?

Cameraman 1:
Okay, I'm calling Oprah's family right now.

Hank:
All I'm saying is families are inevitable. It's like death or taxes.

Nora:
Does that mean you don't want children?

Hank:
Chil...?

Kate:
Leave him alone!

Hank:
Hello! Look at these-- They're monsters! Honey, you can't want this. That's why you're with me.

Tom:
Nora! Come on! We need you down here!

Lorraine:
You're stepping on me! You're messing my hair! Stop!

Kate:
Nigel, get off your brother's head!

(Nora comes downstairs)

Mark:
Get off me! Nobody cares about me!

Nora:
Mark.

Mark:
Nobody cares about me!

Nora:
(tries to comfort Mark) Mark, what's going on? (Mark runs upstairs in despair) Mark! Mark!

Sarah and Lorraine:
What are you talking about?!