Box-Office Bunny1990
[The Cinimenium, a massive multiplex theatre, is quickly constructed over Bugs Bunny's hole. Bugs hears explosions from the film "The Battle for Brooklyn" and burrows into the auditorium where the film is being shown.]
Movie Actor:
It's matter if it's dangerous, huh? I was born in Brooklyn, I dropped out of school in Brooklyn, and now I'm gonna be ready to die for Brooklyn.
Movie actress:
Benny, I love you.
[Bugs munched on his carrot]
Elmer Fudd:
Ssshhhh.
[Elmer points his flashlight at Bugs]
Bugs Bunny:
Eh, what's up, doc?
Elmer Fudd:
Excuse me, but you have to be qwiet ow - Hey, I didn't see you come in. If you haven't got a ticket, I must ask you to weave.
Bugs Bunny:
Ask me to leave? What about you? Where's your ticket, Mac.
Elmer Fudd:
Me? Uh, I don't a ticket.
Bugs Bunny:
No ticket?
Elmer Fudd:
It must be hewe somepwace.
Bugs Bunny:
[quickly disguises himself as an officer] No ticket, eh? Well you've got one now. You know how fast were coming down to that aisle?
Elmer Fudd:
No, officew.
Bugs Bunny:
REAL fast. And weaving. And you've got one headlight. Why there might've been kids playing in the aisle. You're in some big trouble, that's all I know.
Elmer Fudd:
Oh, Mw. officew, siw, pwease give bweak. You see, I was just - Hey, you'we dat scwewy wabbit dat snuck in hewe!
[Bugs runs out, pursued by Elmer]
Daffy Duck:
[outside the back of the theater] Seven bucks for a movie! The price for an evening of puerile entertainment is preposterous! I could better spend an evening in the library, which is why I always carry this. [reveals a library card, which he uses to open the back door and sneak in. However, he collides with Bugs and Elmer.]
Elmer Fudd:
Sneak into my deater will you, you wascally wabbit!?
Daffy Duck:
"Wabbit?" Pardon, mon frere, but this is the rabbit you seek. I'm no rabbit.
Bugs Bunny:
Well, if he's no rabbit, then where are his ears?
Daffy Duck:
Yeah, Einstein, if I'm no rabbit, then where are my- Oh no, nuh-uh. End of discussion. I've come too far. I'm above all that now.
Bugs Bunny:
But not above sneaking into movie theaters.
Daffy Duck:
Yeah, but not above sneak- Are you going to stand around jabbering all day? Catch this guy!
[Both begin chasing Bugs]
Daffy Duck:
Attaboy, Robespierre! Capture the scoundrel! Let justice prevail!
[They run into another auditorium, but all three accidentally step on chewing gum and get stuck. They begin gum-dancing, whereupon Bugs escapes. Daffy discovers this, but Elmer doesn't notice and continues dancing.]
Daffy Duck:
[slaps Elmer] Knock it off, Baryshnikov. He's getting away.
[Bugs is disguised as a snack bar attendant]
Elmer Fudd:
Say, have you seen a wabbit wun by hewe?
Bugs Bunny:
No I haven't, Mac, but what can I get ya?
Elmer Fudd:
Weww, I am kinda hungwy...
[Daffy face-palms]
Elmer Fudd:
How 'bout a wawge popcown.
[Bugs gives Elmer a box of popcorn bigger than Elmer]
Elmer Fudd:
And a medium soft dwink.
[Bugs gives Elmer a medium soda, still larger than Elmer]
Bugs Bunny:
Would you like genuine, artificial, imitation, butter-flavor on your popcorn?
Daffy Duck:
Look, my little gluttonous friend does anything here appear to be out of the ordinary?
Elmer Fudd:
They'we aww out of gum dwops?
Daffy Duck:
Let me make it easy you, Sherlock. [pulls Bugs' ears through his hat] THIS IS THE RABBIT!
Elmer Fudd:
Hey, you'we wight.
[Bugs runs away]
Daffy Duck:
After him!
[Daffy and Elmer chase after Bugs, but Bugs spills butter all over the floor and Daffy and Elmer are slipping on the butter]
Bugs Bunny:
Two seats down front.
[Daffy and Elmer have been sent flying into a movie]
Daffy Duck:
Hey! We're in pictures!
[they watch as a Jason Voorhees look-alike appears and revs his chainsaw; they scream in panic and struggle to leave the movie]
Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd:
[simultaneously] Let me out of here! Wet me out of hewe!
Daffy Duck Wah-ha-ha-ha!
Elmer Fudd:
Wet us out of hewe!
Bugs Bunny:
[watching from the audience] It takes a miracle to get into pictures, and now these two jokers wanna get out.
Submitted by wikidude on November 05, 2019
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