As Good as It Gets1997

Simon Bishop:
Well, I always painted. And my - my mother always encouraged it. I mean, she was really sort of - she was sort of fabulous about it actually . . . and she used to . . . you know, I was too young to think anything wrong with it, and she was - she was very natural. So, she used to pose nude for me . . . and I always thought, or I guess I assumed that my father knew about it.

Melvin Udall:
This stuff is pointless.

Carol Connelly:
Hey! Let him finish please.

Melvin Udall:
You like sad stories? You wanna hear mine?

Carol Connelly:
Stop! [to Simon] Go ahead. Really. Please don't let him stop you.

Simon Bishop:
Um, one day, he walked in, and he found us, and he just - he started screaming.

[Melvin speaks quickly.]

Melvin Udall:
My father didn't come out of his room for 11 years. He used to hit me on the hands with a yardstick if I made a mistake playing the piano. Huh?

Carol Connelly:
Go ahead, Simon. So, you said he came in your room, and he was yelling?

Simon Bishop:
Uh-huh.

Carol Connelly:
Please. Come on.

Simon Bishop:
Um, he was, uh, um . . .

Carol Connelly:
Come on.

Simon Bishop:
Yeah. I know. I mean, um, he was - I was - I remember I was defending my mother, and I - I was trying to, um, you know, make peace in the - the lamest way. I said . . .

[He laughs.]

Simon Bishop:
I said, "She's not naked. It's art."

[He and Carol laugh.]

Simon Bishop:
And he started hitting me. And he beat me unconscious. And he talked to me less and less after that. I mean, he - you know, he knew what I was before I did. And the morning that I left for college, he walked into my room, and he held out his hand, and - and it was filled with money. A big, sweaty wad of money. And he said, "I don't want you to ever come back." And I just grabbed him, and I hugged him, and he turned and walked out.

[Carol kisses her fingers and touches them to Simon's cheek.]

Carol Connelly:
Hey, we all have these terrible stories to get over. You -

Melvin Udall:
That's not true. Some of us have great stories. Pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story: good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.

Carol Connelly:
No! I don't think so.

Simon Bishop:
Not it at all, really.

Melvin Udall:
Not it at all, huh?

[Simon shakes his head.]

Melvin Udall:
Okay. Let's, uh, go to the hotel and, uh, tomorrow, you'll see if you can get another big wad of sweaty money out of his hand.