Fight Club1999

[Tyler and Narrator stop outside a convenience store at night. Tyler takes out a gun and walks into the store to do their homework assignment of a "human sacrifice", while Narrator protests. Tyler forces the clerk out the back exit at gun point.]

Voice-over:
On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everybody drops to zero.

Narrator:
Stop! What are we doing? Come on! God!

Tyler Durden:
Hands behind your back. Give me your wallet.

[The clerk, now kneeling, hands him his wallet.]

Tyler Durden:
Raymond K. Hessel. 1320 South East spanning apartment A. Small cramped basement apartment, Raymond?

Raymond K. Hessel:
How did you know?

Tyler Durden:
'Cause they give shitty basement apartments letters instead of numbers. Raymond, you are going to die.

[Raymond begins to cry. Tyler examines content of the wallet.]

Tyler Durden:
Is that your mom and dad? Mom and Dad are going to have to call up kindly Doctor So-and-so. Pick up your dental records. Wanna know why? Because there's gonna be nothing left of your face.

Narrator:
Oh come on, come on.

Tyler Durden:
An expired community college student ID. What did you study, Raymond?

Raymond K. Hessel:
S-stuff.

Tyler Durden:
Stuff? Were the mid-terms hard? I asked you what you studied!

Raymond K. Hessel:
Biology mostly.

Tyler Durden:
Why?

Raymond K. Hessel:
I don't know.

Tyler Durden:
What did you wanna be, Raymond K. Hessel? The question, Raymond! Was "What did you want to be"?!

Narrator:
Answer him, Raymond! Jesus!

Raymond K. Hessel:
Veterinarian, veterinarian.

Tyler Durden:
Animals.

Raymond K. Hessel:
Yeah animals and stuff.

Tyler Durden:
And stuff, yeah I got that. That means you have to get more schooling.

Raymond K. Hessel:
Too much school.

Tyler Durden:
Would you rather be dead? Would you rather die? Here, on your knees in the back of a convenience store?

Raymond K. Hessel:
No, please no!

[Tyler takes his gun down, takes out Raymond's driver's license throwing the wallet in front of Raymond.]

Tyler Durden:
I'm keeping your license. I'm gonna check in on you. I know where you live. If you're not on your way to becoming a veterinarian in six weeks, you will be dead. Now run on home.

[Raymond gets up and runs into the night.]

Tyler Durden:
Run Forrest, run!

Narrator:
I feel ill.

Tyler Durden:
Imagine how he feels.

Narrator:
Come on, this isn't funny! That wasn't funny. What the f*** was the point of that?!

Tyler Durden:
Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessel's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever tasted.

Voice-over:
You had to give it to him. He had a plan. And it started to make sense in a Tyler sort of way. No fear, no distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

[Tyler throws gun to Narrator who opens the cylinder to find no bullets inside.]