A Day at the Races1937
Tony:
Hey, boss! C'mere! Sun-Up is the worst horse on the track!
Hackenbush:
I notice he wins all the time.
Tony:
Aw, just because he comes in first.
Hackenbush:
Well, I don't want 'em any better than first.
…
Tony:
Here your ice cream. [offering a hint book for betting on the horses] One dollar and you'll remember me all your life.
Hackenbush:
That's the most nauseating proposition I ever had. [buys code book]
Tony:
Here your ice cream. Tootsie-frootsie ice cream. [code book says that horse Z-V-B-X-R-P-L will win the next race; Tony offers a free code book to decode the letters] …just a one dollar printing charge.
Hackenbush:
Well, uh, give me one without printing. I'm sick of printing.
Tony:
…just a two dollar delivery charge.
Hackenbush:
What do you mean delivery charge? I'm standing right next to you.
Tony:
Well, for such a short distance, I make it a dollar.
Hackenbush:
Couldn't I move over here and make it uh - fifty cents?
Tony:
Yes, but I'd move over here and make it a dollar just the same.
Hackenbush:
[after buying many guidebooks] All I wanted was a horse, not a public library.
…
Hackenbush:
[after realising he was swindled by Tony] Get your Tootsie-Frootsie. Nice ice cream. Nice Tootsie-Frootsie ice cream.
Submitted by wikidude on November 05, 2019
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