Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story2004

[Patches has everyone lined up to explain the strategies of dodgeball]

Patches:
If you're gonna learn to be true dodgeballers, then you've gotta learn the five D's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge! If you master the five D's, no amount of balls on earth can hit you. [Justin raises his hand] Queerbait, go ahead.

Justin:
Um, me? Or...I--Um...shouldn't we learn by...y'know, like dodging balls that are thrown at us, or...?

Patches:
That's what this sack of wrenches is for. [empties the sack] If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

Justin:
What?

[Patches hurls a wrench in Justin's face, and he screams in pain]

Patches:
Any other questions?

Justin:
[screams] Oh, my God! [still writhing in agony on the floor]

Peter:
Uh, Patches, is this really necessary?

Patches:
Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?

Peter:
Probably not.

Patches:
No! But I do it anyway, 'cause it's sterile and I like the taste!

Peter:
...Okay...