Hoodwinked!2005

[Wolf is drying off on a log when Twitchy hobbles up, panting, and collapses]

Twitchy:
So can we eat?

Wolf:
Sure! You hungry for failure? Maybe a side of unemployment? 'Cause that's what's for lunch.

Twitchy:
Well, what do we do?

Wolf:
We go right to the source. We've gotta get to Granny's before the kid does. [Boingo appears]

Boingo:
Is it a surprise?

Wolf:
Excuse me?

Boingo:
You're going over to Granny's house to surprise Red. I mean, is it her birthday, or what is it? Is there some kind of shim dig, 'cause I'm great at parties! Watch me pull myself out of a hat! [forcefully scratches his right ear against his head]

Wolf:
Yeah. Big surprise party. You know how to get there?

Boingo:
Oh, yeah! Yeah! In fact, I know a shortcut.

Wolf:
[to Twitchy, incredulous] You hear that? He knows a shortcut.

Boingo:
You go over the woods and through the river... no, you don't wanna go through the river. You'll get all wet.

Wolf:
You see, Twitchy, you get lemons, you make lemonade.

[Cuts to Wolf and Twitchy walking in ankle-deep water through a dark tunnel; Twitchy turns on his camera light]

Wolf:
And then that lemonade goes bitter, and ferments, and turns to pig-swill. Never trust a bunny with directions, Twitchy.

Twitchy:
Sure thing, boss! Never trust a bunny!

Wolf:
Well the bright side is at least I finally dried off. [immediately falls into a small hole, soaking his hoodie and bringing the water up to his waist] Why couldn't I write movie reviews? We are in a pickle, and I blame myself. That bunny was worthless. Not to mention he wrote the directions on an Easter Egg... [holds up a brightly colored Easter Egg with illegible handwriting and a tiny map scribbled on the side] ...which is very hard to read.

Twitchy:
Oh, we're gonna die in here!

Wolf:
Come on, that's what they said at the Alamo!