Horse Feathers1932

Wagstaff:
Are you Miss Bailey? Come, come! One of us is Miss Bailey, and I'm not!

Connie:
I'm Miss Bailey, and who are you?

Wagstaff:
[He pulls out an invisible calling card] I'm Professor Wagstaff. Who are you?

Connie:
Miss Bailey!

Wagstaff:
Ah, then you are Miss Bailey! Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you? Listen, Madam, you've got to give my son up.

Connie:
Give him up?

Wagstaff:
You can't take him from me! He's all I've got in the world, except a picture of George Washington crossing the Delaware.

Connie:
But, Professor, I...

Wagstaff:
Whatever you say is a lie! He's only a shell of his former self which nobody can deny. Whoopee! I tell you, you're ruining that boy, you're ruining him. [sitting in her lap] Did my son tell you you have beautiful eyes?

Connie:
Why, yes.

Wagstaff:
Told me that, too! Tells that to everyone he meets! Oh, I love sitting on your lap. I could sit here all day if you didn't stand up.