The General's Daughter1999

[Chief Warrant Officer Paul Brenner is undercover as First Sergeant Frank White, pretending to oversee a black-market arms deal from his armory on an Army base. He speaks with a pronounced Southern accent.]

CW4 Brenner:
There you go. Genuine and made in the U.S.A. All you gotta do is give me and Dalbert $100,000 each and you'll see them guns come Sunday.

Man:
You'll get your money. Same time I get the guns.

CW4 Brenner:
Now, you listen to me, funny boy. How do I know you ain't one o'them- them Army cops?

Man:
Hey, I'm a freedom fighter.

CW4 Brenner:
Well! Check it out, Dalbert! We got ourselves Che-f***ing-Guevera there. Woop-dee-doo, a freedom fighter! Well, where's your kooky red hat, boy? Ain't been a freedom fighter worth a damn ain't got him a kooky red hat.

Man:
[Visibly angered] You listen to me, stupid.

CW4 Brenner:
Dalbert, I think it's one o' them Freudian-

[The 'freedom fighter' approaches Brenner; as he does, Brenner instantly grabs him, spins him around, and pins a knife to his back.]

CW4 Brenner:
Hey, Dalbert, Dalbert!

SSG Dalbert Elkins:
What?

CW4 Brenner:
Wanna hear a joke?

SSG Elkins:
No!

CW4 Brenner:
How many freedom fighters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

SSG Elkins:
I don't know!

Man:
Hey, come on, man. Relax, huh?

CW4 Brenner:
Well, you don't sound like no criminal investigator to me.

SSG Elkins:
No!

CW4 Brenner:
No?

SSG Elkins:
No!

CW4 Brenner:
[Releases the man, slapping him on the back] Well, you're all right, pal! I'm sorry about that, but we get a little jumpy around here before an exchange. So we'll see you Sunday, then!

Man:
[Quietly furious] I'll be there.

CW4 Brenner:
Yeah, you be there! [After the man leaves, he turns to Dalbert] Aw, unclench your ass-cheeks, Dalbert! The scary part is over!