Little Nicky2000

Bishop/Adrian:
  Yep, the Lord sure did say a lot of hibbity jibbity bibbity swibbity…but, has he ever really done anything for any of us? Has he ever put a Jaguar XJR in my driveway? No.

Man #1:
  I love that car.

Bishop/Adrian:
  Has the Lord given any of my enemies the herpes?

Man #2:
  [laughing] The herpes?

Bishop/Adrian:
  No!

Woman:
  The Lord gave my son the strength to get off drugs! [congregation cheers]

Bishop/Adrian:
  Ma'am, I know your son. And believe me, he was better off on the drugs. At least when he was smoking hashish, he used to make me laugh occasionally. [congregation laughs]

Man #3:
  After we tried for many years, the Lord finally helped my wife conceive a baby. [congregation cheers]

Bishop/Adrian:
  No, no, no. Your best friend, Fitzy, helped your wife conceive a baby. He helped her conceive it all night long!

Fitzy:
  Hey, hey, hey! [congregation boos]

Bishop/Adrian:
  How about you, Mayor? Has the Lord ever done anything for you?

Mayor/Cassius:
Well, you know, I…I wished I could think of something, but to be honest with you, I can't! I can't think of a damn thing he's ever done for me! Kind of makes you wonder if there even is a Lord. If there even is an ultimate punishment for our so-called "sins!" Why don't we all just have fun and do whatever the hell we want?! Hey, hey!

Bishop/Adrian:
  Let the sin begin!

Cassius:
  [thinking] "Let the sin begin." That was a good one!

Adrian:
  [thinking] This is so much fun! I never want it to end!

Cassius:
  [thinking] Why should it end? Who's going to stop us?! Ha ha ha ha!

Bishop/Adrian:
  Ah ha ha ha ha!