Kung Fu Panda2008

Po:
[making dinner for The Furious Five] So, I'm like "Fine. You may be a wolf. You may be the scariest bandit in the Hajin Province, but you're a lousy tipper!"

Crane:
Really, so how'd you get out of there alive?

Po:
I mean, I didn't actually say that, but I thought it... in... in my mind. If he could read my mind, he woulda been like "What?". Order up! [passes out bowls of soup to four of the Five] Hope you like it. [watches patiently]

Mantis:
This is really good!

Po:
[sitting down] Nah, c'mon, you should try my dad's secret ingredient soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.

Viper:
What are you talking about? This is amazing!

Crane:
Wow, you're a really good cook! [Po looks a bit sheepish, wondering if his old life really could influence his new.]

Mantis:
I wish my mouth was bigger!

Monkey:
Tigress, you've got to try this.

Tigress:
Hmmm. [picking up a cube of tofu with her chopsticks, the only one of the five without noodles] It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing, but the dew of a single Ginko leaf and the energy of the universe. [The Five realize Po's been shot down yet again.]

Po:
I guess my body doesn't know it's the Dragon Warrior yet, heh heh. I'm gonna need a lot more than dew, and... uh, universe juice. [slurps his noodles, with one hanging over his nose; Mantis snickers] What?

Mantis:
Oh, nothing... "Master Shifu". [everyone, except Tigress, begin to chuckle]

Po:
[impersonating Master Shifu] "You will never be the Dragon Warrior... unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth." [The Furious Five, except Tigress, laughs] "What is that noise you're making, laughter? I have never heard of it! Work hard, Panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine!" [brings 2 bowls up to his head to mimic ears; the Five laugh, then immediately stop, with shocked expressions] Ears. It's not working for ya? I thought they're pretty good.

Monkey:
[whispering] It's Shifu!

Po:
Of course it's Shifu. Who do you think I'm doing? [The Five stare at Po shockingly; Monkey points at the door. Po looks and sees (the real) Shifu with Oogway's staff.] Oh... Master Shifu! Uh... [slurps the noodle and accidentally presses the bowls to his chest so he looks like he is wearing a bikini top. The Five, except Tigress, snicker.]

Shifu:
[angrily] You think this is funny? Tai Lung has escaped from prison, and you're acting like children!

Po:
What?

Shifu:
He is coming for the Dragon Scroll! [to Po] And you are the only one who can stop him!

Po:
[After his bowls fall to the ground, then laughs] And here I am saying you got no sense of humor! [Shifu looks at him deadly serious.] I'm gonna... stop Tai Lung. What, you're serious, and I have to? Uh, no... Uh, Master Oogway will stop him! He did it before, he'll do it again!

Shifu:
[Shakes his head] Oogway cannot! [Face softens and he stares sadly at his master's staff.] Not anymore (in fact). [The Five gasp in shock, realizing Oogway is gone] Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.

Tigress:
The panda?

Shifu:
Yes, the panda! [With conviction due to Oogway's last charge on him before he died]

Tigress:
Master, please! [pushes her chair out] Let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for!

Shifu:
No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his! [points at Po, who's NOT there] Where'd he go? [Scenes to Cut outside Po running down the stairs and Shifu stops Po from leaving] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!

Po:
Watch me! [Po tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away] Come on! How am I supposed to defeat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs.

Shifu:
You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior! [Pokes Po in the stomach]

Po:
Ow! You don't believe that! [Shifu swings his arm around] You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!

Shifu:
[Po tries to run past Shifu, but was pushed away again] Yes, I was, but now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.

Po:
You're not my master. [Po shoves the staff away from his face.] And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.

Shifu:
Then why didn't you quit?! You knew I was trying to get rid of you, and yet you stayed!

Po:
Yeah, I stayed. [stands up] I stayed because though every time you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled, it hurt, but it could never hurt more than it did every day of my life just being me. [Po Pauses. Shifu is in a stunned silence] I stayed because I thought if anyone could change me... could make me... not me, it was you, the greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!

Shifu:
But I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior, and I will!

Po:
Oh, come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now, and even if it takes him 100 years to get here, how are you... gonna change this into the Dragon Warrior?! Huh? [Shifu is speechless] How... how...? HOW?!

Shifu:
[snaps and yells out answer in frustration] I DON'T KNOW! (Shifu calms down a bit, then he sighs deeply, realizing what he means) I don't know.

Po:
[his anger turns to sadness] That's what I thought.

Tigress:
[watch Po sadly and Shifu walk away and jump] This what you trained me for. [Keeps going. The rest of the Furious Five follow her]

Viper:
[Now caught up with Tigress] Tigress!

Tigress:
Don't try to stop them!

Viper:
We're not trying to stop him.

Tigress:
What?

Viper:
We're coming with you.

[The monkey thumb up and the furious five and jump into the moon, The next morning, Shifu felt alone, and they heard Po karate, Shifu go inside and looking for Po. Shifu walks in to see Po in the kitchen, having just punched through a wood cupboards and is currently eatings its contents]

Po:
[Sees Shifu and stops; Shifu look arounds the kitchen, where shelves are broken, cupboards have holes in them, and Po’s still got food in his hands] What? [angrily] I eat when I'm upset, okay!

Shifu:
Oh, no need to explain. [Start to turn away, then turn back] I just thought you might be Monkey, he hides almond cookies on the top shelf.

[He pretends to walk off and instead leans against the wall beside the doorway, hearing a bit scuffling. When he looks in, Po is ten feet above the ground, doing a perfect split to keep himself airborne and currently shoveling Monkey’s almond cookies into his face. With a mixture of surprise and realization, Shifu examines Po. After a minute, Po sees Shifu.]

Po:
[With cookies in his mouth] Don’t tell monkey.

Shifu:
[in astonishment] Look at you.

Po:
Yeah, I know, I disgust you.

Shifu:
No, no, I mean, how did you get up there?

Po:
[taking a few more cookies] I don’t know. I just- I don’t know. I was getting a cookie.

Shifu:
And yet, you are ten feet off the ground, and have done a perfect split.