Joe's Apartment1996

Walter Sh*t:
You see? There's really no way to get a rent-controlled apartment.

Joe F. Grotowski:
No way at all?

Walter Sh*t:
Well, I mean, only if it's like, your mom's apartment, and, y'know, she, like, croaks! (Mrs. Grotowski walks out of the apartment building) Oh, how ya doin', Mrs. Grotowski! (Mrs. Grotowski coughs up her keys, which land in Joe's hand)

Joe F. Grotowski:
Oh my God!

Walter Sh*t:
Joe! Mrs. Grotowski doesn't have any family. You pose as her son, take her apartment!

Joe F. Grotowski:
What?!? I... I couldn't...!

Walter Sh*t:
(faking grief) Oh my God! Joe, it's your mother! And she's dead!