Nicholas and Alexandra1971

[German Embassy to Switzerland. Lenin, who is handcuffed to a chair, is being interrogated by a German consul, who is reading a dossier]

German Consul:
Ah, let us see. Name: Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov. Born in Simbirsk in 1870. Attended the University of Kazan but was expelled for participating in anti-monarchist protests. Older brother hanged in 1887 for the attempted assination of the present Tsar's father. Married, no children. Does not smoke, and does not allow his colleagues to smoke either.

[The Consul blows a ring of cigar smoke in Lenin's face]

Lenin:
The Tsar should have had your secret police. My party will make a study of your methods.

German Consul:
This dossier failed to mention your sense of humor. Let us stop and think of the absurdity of your idea. You want the German government, which is at war with Russia, to smuggle you into your native country which banished you, because you claim you can single-handedly end the war?

Lenin:
My government will immediately make peace with Berlin.

German Consul:
I never knew you had so much authority.

Lenin:
There is power just lying in the streets, up for grabs! Kerensky won't last, he is too busy continuing Russian involvement in the war and the people are desperate for peace! I shall give them peace. With Germany finished with the Eastern Front do you know how many regiments you could transfer to the Western Front?

German Consul:
And now you are asking me for classified information. A Marxist wanting to use the Kaiser? Are you aware that Germany has locked up more Bolsheviks than any other country in the world? But then again, war causes strange alliances. Perhaps the Kaiser...could use a Marxist.