Matilda1996

[Harry starts oiling his hair, unaware that Matilda has put peroxide in his hair tonic]

Harry:
Michael, come into my room!

Michael:
[walks in] What?

Harry:
My boy, today's the day I take you to the shop. What do you say?

Michael:
I don't know. What do you say, Dad?

Harry:
I say appearance is nine-tenths of the law. People don't buy a car, they buy me, which is why I personally take such pride in my appearance; well-oiled hair, clean-shaved, a snappy suit... Now run along and get ready for a big day of learning, kid. It's gonna be a big day of learning, too. There's a sucker born every minute. We're gonna take 'em for all they got.

[Cut to the kitchen]

Michael:
Give me the cookies.

Zinnia:
[hands Michael the cookies] Here.

[Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde]

Harry:
Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair] What's wrong with you? What are you looking at? [to Zinnia] Lovekins, where's my breakfast?

Zinnia:
[picks up two bowls of cereal] Here we are, my heartstrings! [turns and sees Harry's hair] AAAIIGHHH! [tosses the cereal in the air] Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair?

Harry:
[suspiciously] My hair? [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] AAAAIIIIGGGHHHH!!!! [faints; Matilda snickers quietly]

[Cut to Harry beginning to pack up his car parts and his wife and their kids help him]

Harry:
Give me those things. Where are you going with those? Get in the car. Go on. Get in.

Narrator:
Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long. Especially when the FBI gets involved.

[As Harry packs up his car parts, he looks around, unaware that Agents Bob and Bill are snapping pictures of him from their car]

FBI Agent Bob:
[speaks into tape recorder] 9:17, suspect exits domicile.

FBI Agent Bill:
I've got 9:18.

FBI Agent Bob:
[checks his watch] 9:17 is correct.

[The Wormwood family drives away to Wormwood Motors]