Mulan1998

Great Ancestor:
[motioning to a bronze dragon] Mushu, awaken.

[The statue shakes and smokes, and Mushu emerges.]

Mushu:
I LIVE! So tell me, what mortal need my protection, Great Ancestor? You just say the word, and I'm there!

Great Ancestor:
Mushu...

Mushu:
And let me say something, anyone's who foolish to threaten our family - VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE!

Great Ancestor:
[sharply] Mushu! These are the family guardians. They...

Mushu:
Protect the family.

Great Ancestor:
And you, O Demoted One?

Mushu:
I... ring the gong.

Great Ancestor:
That's right. Now wake up the ancestors.

Mushu:
[exasperated] One family reunion, coming right up. [bangs the gong] Okay, people, people, look alive! Let's go, come on, get up! Let's move it! Rise and shine! Y'all way past the beauty sleep thing, trust me! [The rest of the ancestors materialize]

Ancestor Woman #1:
I knew it, I knew it! That Mulan was a troublemaker from the start!

Ancestor Man #1:
Don't look at me, she gets it from your side of the family!

Ancestor Woman #2:
She's just trying to help her father.

Ancestor Man #2:
[holding an abacus] But if she's discovered, Fa Zhou will be forever shamed. [calculating] Dishonor will come to the family. Traditional values will disintegrate!

Ancestor Farmer:
Not to mention, they'll lose the farm.

Ancestor Woman #1:
My children never caused such trouble, they all became acupuncturists!

Ancestor Man #1:
Well, we can't all be acupuncturists.

Older Lady Ancestor:
No! Your great-granddaughter had to be a CROSS-DRESSER!

[The ancestors start arguing]

Ancestor Man #2:
Let a guardian bring her back.

Ancestor Man #1:
Yes, awaken the most cunning!

Ancestor Man #3:
No, the swiftest!

Ancestor Woman #3:
No, send the wisest!

Great Ancestor:
SILENCE! We must send the most powerful of all.

Mushu:
[laughs] Okay, okay, I get the drift, I'll go.

[The ancestors look at Mushu and laugh.]

Mushu:
Well, y'all don't think I can do it?! Watch this here! [blows a tiny flame] Ah-hah! Jump back, I'm pretty hot, huh? Don't make me have to singe nobody to prove no point.

Great Ancestor:
You had your chance to protect the Fa Family.

Older Lady Ancestor:
Your misguidance led Fa Deng to disaster!

[Fa Deng sits nearby, holding his severed head.]

Fa Deng:
[deadpan] Yeah, thanks a lot.

Mushu:
And your point is?

Great Ancestor:
The point is, we will be sending a real dragon to retrieve Mulan.

Mushu:
What, what?! I'm a real dragon!

Great Ancestor:
You're not even worthy of this spot! [Grabs Mushu and throws him outside.] Now, awaken the Great Stone Dragon!

Mushu:
So you'll get back to me on the job thing? [The Great Ancestor throws Mushu's gong and hits him in the face.] Just one chance, is that too much ask? It's mean not like it'll kill ya. [he sees a Great Stone Dragon] Yo, Rocky, wake up! Ya gotta go fetch Mulan! [looks curious when walk around it talks and waking a Great Stone Dragon, and starts shaking stick fetch like a dog] Come on, boy! Go get her! Go on! [whistling] Come on. [the Dragon statue is not waking, Mushu climbs up with gong, when looks angry growls at The Great Stone Dragon, it growls again dragon statue, he could hear the Great Stone Dragon's ear and echos] Hello? HELLOOO?! Hello! [breaks a Dragon statue's ear] Uh-oh... [the whole Dragon crumbles apart] Uh, Stony? Stony? [scared] Oh, man, they're gonna kill me...!

Great Ancestor:
Great Stone Dragon, have you awakened?

Mushu:
[holding up the Great Stone Dragon's head, which is all that is left of him] Uh, uh, uh, uh... Yes, I just woke up! I'm... I am the Great Stone Dragon! Good Morning! I will go forth and fetch Mulan! Did... Did I mention that I was the Great Stone Dragon?

Great Ancestor:
Go! The fate of the Fa family rests in your claws.

Mushu:
Don't even worry about it! I will not lose face! [loses balance and rolls down the hill; the head of the Great Stone Dragon lands on top of him] Oh, my elbow. Oh, oh. I know I twisted somethin'. [After several unsuccessful attempts at waking the dragon, he ends up accidentally destroying the dragon statue] That's just great, now what? I'm doomed! And all 'cause Miss Man decides to take her little drag show on the road! [he don't feel so good, Cri-Kee suggests and chirps him] "Go get her"?! What's the matter with you--? After this Great Stone Humpty-Dumpty mess, I'd have to bring her home with a medal to get back in the temple. [gasps] Wait a minute. [happily] That's it! I'll make Mulan a war hero, and they'll be begging me to come back to work! That's the master plan! Oh, you've done it now, man. [Cri-Kee want to follow Mushu] Hey, what makes you think you're comin'? [Cri-Kee chirps, wanting to go with Mushu] You're lucky? Do I look like a sucker to you? [Cri-Kee chirps again] What you mean, a loser? How 'bout if I pop one of your antennas off, and throw it across the yard? Then who's the loser, me or you?