My Cousin Vinny1992

Guard:
Here. Got somebody for you. (Vinny slips guard a 'tip', and enters the cell)

Vinny:
You must be Stan, how ya doin’?

Stan:
Why'd they bring you in here?

Vinny:
Well, I just got in. I asked where the new guys were, and they brought me here. Hey, sleepin’, huh? Cute little guy. Ya know, maybe I should start wit you. Let him sleep a little bit.

Stan:
I don't wanna do this.

Vinny:
Hey, I don't blame ya. If I was in your situation, I'd wanna get through this whole thing as quickly, and with as little pain as possible. So, ya know, let's try our best to make this a simple, in-and-out procedure. (Reassuring Stan that he’s not there to hurt him in any way; has him sit down) What's the matter? Hey, relax, relax. Ya know, maybe we should spend a couple minutes together. Ya know, to get acquainted before we uh, ya know, before we get to it. What's wrong with you?

Stan:
I don't wanna do this.

Vinny:
I understand, but ya know, what are your alternatives?

Stan:
My alternatives? To what, to you? I don't know, suicide, death...

Vinny:
Look, it's either me or them. You're gettin’ f***ed one way or the other. (Stan tries to get up, but Vinny stops him) Hey, lighten up. Don't worry, I'm gonna help you.

Stan:
(somewhat sarcastically) Gee, thanks.

Vinny:
Excuse me, but I think a modicum of gratitude would not be out of line here.

Stan:
You think I should be grateful?

Vinny:
Yeah, I mean it's your ass, not mine. I think you should be grateful. I think you should be down on your f***in’ knees!

Stan:
I'm sorry. I didn't know it was such an honor to get a visit from you.

Vinny:
Hey, I'm doin’ a favor here, ya know. You're gettin’ me for nothin’, you little f***.

Stan:
Boy, that's one hell of an ego you got.

Vinny:
What the f*** is your problem? I did not come down here just to get jerked off.

Stan:
No. No, no. I'm not jerking you off. I'm not doing anything.

Vinny:
That's it. You're on your own. I'm just takin’ care of Sleepin’ Beauty.

[Wakes up Bill, who gets startled]

Bill:
Hey, back off! Vin! Vinny!