My Cousin Vinny1992

Vinny:
Is that a drip I hear?

Lisa:
Yeah.

Vinny:
Weren't you the last one to use the bathroom?

Lisa:
So?

Vinny:
Well, did you use the faucet?

Lisa:
Yeah.

Vinny:
Why didn't you turn it off?

Lisa:
I did turn it off.

Vinny:
Well, if you turned it off, why am I listening to it?

Lisa:
Did it ever occur to you that it could be turned off and drip at the same time?

Vinny:
No, because if you turned it off, it wouldn't drip.

Lisa:
Maybe it's broken.

Vinny:
Is that what you're sayin’? It's broken?

Lisa:
Yeah, that's it; it's broken.

Vinny:
You sure?

Lisa:
I'm positive.

Vinny:
Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough.

Lisa:
I twisted it just right.

Vinny:
How can you be so sure?

Lisa:
If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet requires a range of 10-16 foot pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage.

Vinny:
How can you be sure you used 16 foot pounds of torque?

Lisa:
Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory edition, signature series torque wrench. The kind used by Cal Tech High Energy physicists, and NASA engineers.

Vinny:
In that case, how can you be sure that's accurate?

Lisa:
Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state and federal Departments of Weights and Measures, to be dead-on balls accurate. Here's the certificate of validation. (Rips a page out of a magazine)

Vinny:
"Dead-on balls accurate"?

Lisa:
It's an industry term.

Vinny:
I guess the f***in’ thing is broken.