Scary Movie 42006

Tom Ryan:
Ever since the divorce it's like my life has no purpose. Half the time, I walk around feelin' like a zombie!

C. J.:
Yo, don't joke about zombies. That sh*t there - that's real.

Mahalik:
Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street?

C. J.:
Yeah.

Mahalik:
She told me that she heard a zombie goin' through her trash the other day. The next mornin', she turned up missin'!

Tom Ryan:
Uh...

(C.J. interrupts)

C. J.:
What?! Okay, back up. How in the hell do you "turn up missing"?

Mahalik:
'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there!

Tom Ryan:
Guys, I'm trying to ask...

C. J.:
(interrupts again) So you tellin' me that you can appear and disappear at the same time?

Mahalik:
No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. The b*tch ain't David Copperfield!

Tom Ryan:
Uh, guys...

C. J.:
(interrupts a third time) Mmm. No, no. But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you're never missin'. And when you're missin', you never turn up.

Mahalik:
Unless... you a zombie.

C. J.:
Damn! Hey, that's some plausible sh*t right there. You should blog about that.

Mahalik:
I'm-a gonna put that on Myspace!

C. J.:
You do that!