Small Soldiers

Small Soldiers1998

Stars: David Cross, Jay Mohr, Alexandra Wilson, Denis Leary
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Rating: PG-13
Runtime: 110 minutes

Here's the pitch: "It's like Toy Story but these toys that come to life really kick butt!" That's essentially it for this breezy popcorn flick. In a very smart first 10 minutes, new toy-company owner Denis Leary tells his crew he wants toys "that pl… more »



Gil Mars:
Y'know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of commercials that show us 4x4 trucks popping up to the top of Mt. Rushmore and parking on top of Abraham Lincoln's head, okay? I'm sick of shampoo commercials that try to convince women that they can look like Claudia Schiffer after one cycle of rinse and repeat. What if these toys could actually talk? What if they could walk? What if they could actually kick ass? I'm talking about toys that are so smart, when kids play with them, they play back. Toys, in short, gentlemen, that actually do what they do in the commercials.

Irwin Wayfair:
Well... that's an interesting idea.

Gil Mars:
Forget about this "batteries not included" crap. We're gonna stick in a lifetime Globotech lithium cell, keep these things running forever! That'll piss off the guys at Eveready.

Larry Benson:
Yeah! [chuckles] Hey, how's this for a slogan? "The Commando Elite - anything else is just a toy."

Gil Mars:
"Everything else is just a toy."

Larry Benson:
Th-That's good too! Sure.

Irwin Wayfair:
Uh, sir? Uh, you know, that kind of, uh, computing power doesn't really seem feasible right now, and--

Larry Benson:
Irwin, Irwin. We're members of the GloboTech family. Surely, we can hunt down that technology.

Gil Mars:
We can make missiles that can hunt down one unlucky bastard 7,000 miles away and stick a nuclear warhead right up his ass. I don't think we're gonna have a problem with this.

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Submitted by wikidude on November 05, 2019


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