Spider-Man 22004

J. Jonah Jameson:
You're fired. Parker, hello? You're fired!

Peter Parker:
Why?

Jameson:
[looks at Peter's latest photos in his photo book] Dogs catching Frisbees? Pigeons in the park? A couple of geezers playin' chess?

Betty Brant:
[walks in urgently] Boss!

Jameson:
Not now.

[Brant walks out]

Peter:
Well, I was thinking maybe the Bugle could show another side of New York for a change.

Robbie Robertson:
We got 6 minutes to deadline, Jonah! We need page one!

Jameson:
[looks over at Robbie, ignores him] Parker, I don't pay ya to be a sensitive artiste! I pay you because... [notices Brant heading back for his desk] Still not now! [Brant walks back out] I pay you because for some reason that psycho Spiderman'll pose for you!

Peter:
Spider-Man won't let me take any more pictures! You've turned the whole city against him!

Jameson:
A fact I'm very proud of! Now, get your pretty little portfolio off my desk before I go into a diabetic coma! [intercom alarm goes off; he presses the intercom button]

Betty:
Boss, your wife's on the line! She said she lost your checkbook!

Jameson:
Thanks for the good news! [turns off intercom]

Peter:
Mr. Jameson, please, isn't there any of these shots you can use? I really need the money.

Jameson:
[with faux sympathetic 'puppy-dog' face] Aww... Miss Brant?!?

Brant:
[walks in] Yes?

Jameson:
Get me a violin!

Robbie:
5 minutes to deadline, Jonah!

Jameson:
All right, run a picture of a rancid chicken. Here's the headline - "Food Poisoning Scare Sweeps City!"

Hoffman:
[leans in] Some food got poisoned?

Jameson:
[glares over] I'm a little nauseous, yah!

Peter:
[after a short pause] All right, Mr. Jameson. [hands Jameson a photo of Spider-Man]

Jameson:
[briefly analyzes the photo] It stinks. Robbie, there's your Page 1 - "Masked Menace Terrorizes Town!"

Robbie:
I told you he's not a menace!

Jameson:
And I told you...

Robertson:
I'll take care of it.

Jameson:
I'll give you $150.

Peter:
$300.

Jameson:
That's outrageous! [hands Peter his check] Done. Give this to the girl.