Steel Magnolias1989

Clairee:
You made a very good catch, Shelby. Louisiana lawyers do well whether they want to or not!!

Shelby:
Oh, l don't really care. Well, I mean, don't get me wrong. The money is real nice and all. But l just like the idea of growing old with somebody. My dream is to get old, and sit on the back porch, covered with grandchildren, and I'll say: No! and Stop that!

Truvy:
[laughs] Are you gonna quit your nursin' job?

Shelby:
Never! I love it! I love bein' around all those babies!!

M'Lynn:
Drum and I both feel that she should not work after she gets married.

Shelby:
Well I'm so anxious to discuss this topic for the 900th time this week!!

M'Lynn:
You should not be on your feet all day!! You should be kinder to your circulatory system!!

Shelby:
Ya know what you need in here, Truvy? You need a radio. Music is a wonderful thing to have in the background. It takes the pressure off of everybody feeling they have to talk so much.

Truvy:
Oh, I used to have one, but I smalled it against the wall when I couldn't figure out where the batteries went. Of course, I know now I was suffering from pre-menstrual syndrome.

Clairee:
A radio. What did I just hear—? Oh, yes! The Antilley family is sellin' KPPD! I wonder how much radio stations sell for.

Shelby:
Miss Clairee. You should buy KPPD! You got plenty of money!

Clairee:
What would I do with a radio station? Oh, business never interested me. Lloyd took care of all that stuff. Shelby, I hope you and Jackson will be as happy as Lloyd and I were. We had such a good time. Until November. Well, at least he hung on through the state playoffs.

Shelby:
Miss Clairee, there are still good times to be had.

Clairee:
Well, I really do love football, but it's hard to parlay that into a reason to live.

Truvy:
What are your colors, Shelby?

Shelby:
They're blush and bashful.

M'Lynn:
Her colors are pink and pink.

Shelby:
My colors are blush and bashful, Mama.

M'Lynn:
How precious is this wedding gonna get, I ask you?

Shelby:
My colors are blush and bashful. I have chosen two shades of pink, one is much deeper than the other.

M'Lynn:
But the bridesmaids dresses, they are really beautiful.

Shelby:
Ceremony will be too. The walls are banked with sprays of flowers, and my two shades of blush and bashful. Pink carpets especially laid out for my service, and pink silk bunting, draped over anything that would stand still.

M'Lynn:
That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto Bismol!

Shelby:
I like pink! Pink is my signature color.

Truvy:
How many bridesmaids?

Shelby:
Nine!

Truvy:
Nine?! Good Lord!!

Shelby:
Exactly. Mama made me have my cousins and Margie St. Maurice.

M'Lynn:
Shelby, let's not go into this now! You know there was no way around it!

Shelby:
It will be pretentious. And Daddy always says, An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure.

M'Lynn:
The poet laureate of Dogwood Lane.

Shelby:
Mama, I wish you'd get off Daddy's back.

M'Lynn:
Shelby, look, now l don't really wanna get into—

Truvy:
Fill us in on the reception!!

Shelby:
My reception! My reception! Ferns, dancing, tons of people! Every pink flower west of the Mississippi. Wedding cake in the dining room and the groom's cake... Hidden in the carport?

M'Lynn:
Shelby and I, we agree on one thing.

M'Lynn and Shelby:
The groomscake!!

Shelby:
It's awful!! lt's in the shape of a giant armadillo.

Truvy:
An armadillo?! You're jokin' right?

Shelby:
No. Jackson wanted a cake in the shape of an armadillo. He's got an aunt that makes them.

Clairee:
It's unusual.

M'Lynn:
It's repulsive! It's got gray icing! I can't even begin to think how you make gray icing!

Shelby:
Worse the cake part is red velvet cake. Blood red!! People are gonna be hackin' into this poor animal that looks like it's bleedin' to death.

M'Lynn:
The rehearsal supper was a real experience.

Shelby:
Mama, it wasn't that bad! It was out at Jackson's uncle's place on the river.

M'Lynn:
Jackson comes from the good old Southern family with good old Southern values. Ya either shoot it, stuff it or marry it.

Shelby:
They're simply outdoorsy, that's all.

Truvy:
Did ya'll do anything especially romantic?

Shelby:
We drove down to Frenchmen's Point and went parkin'!

M'Lynn:
Oh, Shelby. Really!

Truvy:
Oh, M'Lynn, leave her alone. This is my favorite part. This is the romantic part. Now, see, that's what really melts my butter.

Shelby:
well, then we went skinny dipping, and we did things that frightened the fish.

Clairee:
It's been a long time since we had a youngster in this place.

Shelby:
We talked and talked and talked…

Truvy:
I love those kinda talks in the arms of the man you love!

Shelby:
Actually, we fought most of the time.

Truvy:
You fought?

Shelby:
Well, cause I told him I wouldn't marry him.

M'Lynn:
What?!

Clairee:
Why'd you go and do a thing like that?

Shelby:
Oh, it's okay now. We worked it all out.

Truvy:
Oh, it's probably one of those last minute jitter things.

Shelby:
No, but the weddin's still on.

Truvy:
Well, thank goodness. [pointing to Shelby's hairstyle] 'Cause this is going to be in the hairdo hall of fame.

Clairee:
Shelby, you scared us. That wasn't a nice thing to do to your mama. You should never say something like that to a woman who's marinating fifty pounds of crab claws

Truvy:
Oh, but the makin' up can be extremely romantic. I miss romance so much.

Clairee:
Oh, Truvy, it can't be that bad.

Truvy:
Oh really, now? Well, the last romantic thing my husband did for me was back in 1972. He enclosed this carport so that I could support him!

M'Lynn:
Well, Truvy, now I think I have somethin' that could cheer you up. Drum and l have been plannin' to talk to your husband about buildin' a room on to our house.

Truvy:
M'Lynn, are you serious? lf you give Spud a job, l'll give you hot oil treatments for the rest of your life! Annelle, this looks pretty good. I think you know what you're doin'.

Annelle:
Thank you!! Mrs. Eatenton, you have great hair. And your scalp's as clean as a whistle.

M'Lynn:
I try.

Truvy:
Well, it must run in the family. This young'un's got the prettiest hair l've ever had my hands in. So thick. Well, just because l'm braggin' on you don't mean you can get lazy on me. Hold your head up, Shelby.

Shelby:
Stop it!!

Truvy:
Shelby? Shelby! M'Lynn!!

Clairee:
I'll get some juice!!

M'Lynn:
Truvy, there's some candy in my purse.

Truvy:
I have some right here. [grabs a peppermint]

M'Lynn:
Shelby. Shelby. Hold on. Clairee's getting you some juice. Shelby. Shelby. Shelby.

Truvy:
Should I get her a cookie?

M'Lynn:
No, juice is better.

Clairee:
Here's the juice!!

M'Lynn:
Shelby! Shelby, you need some juice. You need some juice.

Shelby:
Stop it, Mama!

M'Lynn:
Drink the juice.

Truvy:
Please drink the juice.

Shelby:
No! Stop it, Mama! l have some candy in my purse.

M'Lynn:
No, you didn't bring your purse, sweetheart. You didn't bring your purse. No you didn't!! No, here you go. There you go. Drink some of this. lt's not any wonder with all this runnin' around and weddin' nonsense.

Annelle:
Excuse me. Should l call the doctor or somethin'?

Truvy:
No! No!

Clairee:
She's a diabetic.

M'Lynn:
She just has a little too much insulin, that's all. We'll get a little more in her. She'll be all right.

Shelby:
lf you don't leave me alone, l'm gonna leave.

M'Lynn:
Oh, I'd love to see you try!! Cooperate, please!!

Truvy:
Honey, drink, please!!

M'Lynn:
Come on, now. Thattagirl. Yes, yes, yes, yes. There you go. There you go. There, there. That's a start.

Clairee:
This one hit her fast.

M'Lynn:
Yeah. She's been so upset lately. Dr. Mitchell told her on her last appointment…children aren't possible.

Shelby:
Don't talk about me like l'm not here.

M'Lynn:
[slight laugh] Oh, oh, oh, oh, she's makin' some sense now. Yes, she is. This one was not bad at all. It was not bad at all. No, l think we needa little more juice.

Annelle:
Could l do somethin' to help?

M'Lynn:
No, no. She'll be fine. Don't fuss over her.

Clairee:
Here, M'Lynn.

M'Lynn:
Thanks.

Truvy:
I'm really sorry about the children part, M'Lynn.

M'Lynn:
I know. Shelby's afraid Jackson will be throwin' away his chance to have children.

Shelby:
Jackson said: Shelby, don't be stupid. There's plenty of kids out there need good homes.

M'Lynn:
Drink some.

Shelby:
We'll adopt 10 of them. We'll buy them if we have to.

Clairee:
Jackson sounds like good people to me.

Shelby:
Oh Mama, I'm sorry!!

M'Lynn:
That's all right, honey.

Shelby:
I'm sorry!!

M'Lynn:
lt's all right. lt's all over now. lt's all—You hold your juice.

Shelby:
Okay.

M'Lynn:
lt's all over. hold your juice.

Shelby:
Okay.

M'Lynn:
All right.

Shelby:
Okay.

Truvy:
You all right?

Shelby:
Truvy, I'm sorry!!

Truvy:
Oh, I'll fix it!! We'll fix it!!

Shelby:
Okay. [drinks more juice] Okay.

Drum:
What'd I do with my gun?

Jonathan:
Well, where'd ya leave it?

Drum:
How the hell do I know? Well, come on, we got work to do. Daylight's burnin'. Gotta get rid of some birds!!

Jonathan:
Whoo!! Got the arrows, Daddy!!

Drum:
All right, all right. Hey lookie here, lookie here!!

Tommy:
Yeah, and I got the target!!

Drum:
No, we're not goin target shootin', forget it.

Shelby:
Miss Clairee, what cute shoes!

Clairee:
Ya think so? I'm not so sure myself. They seem a little too racy for me. I'll probably give em away.

Truvy:
Oh, they're just too cha-cha for words. if you decide to get rid of em, I'll buy em from ya.

Clairee:
What size you wear?

Truvy:
Well in a good shoe, I wear a size 6. But a 7 feels so good, I buy a size 8.

Clairee:
They're 8 and a half.

Truvy:
Perfect!

Clairee:
Lord, give us strength!!

Ouiser:
Oh, God, come here, Rhett!!

Annelle:
That is one ugly dog. What kinda dog is that?

Clairee:
If it had hair, it'd be a St. Bernard.

Ouiser:
This is it, I have found it, I am in Hell!!

Truvy:
Good mornin, Ouiser.

Ouiser:
Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy. I no longer have one! Come here, Rhett.

Truvy:
You're a little early, ain't ya?

Ouiser:
That is PRECISELY why I'm here! I've gotta talk to M'Lynn about her husband. He is a boil on the butt of humanity!

M'Lynn:
I'm sorry, Ouiser. This whole thing has gotten outta hand.

Ouiser:
It's not your fault, M'Lynn. Ya know, l used to think you were crazy for marryin' that man. Then, for a few years, l thought you were glutton for punishment. Now l realize you must be on some mission from God.

Shelby:
Miss Ouiser, Daddy isn't trying' to drive you crazy. He's tryin' to make my reception nice. His heart's in the right place.

M'Lynn:
Ouiser, l know for a fact there will be no more gunshots.

Ouiser:
But he was gonna fire a gun at me!!

M'Lynn:
They're blanks. Drum would never, ever point a gun at a lady.

Ouiser:
He's a real gentleman. l bet he takes the dishes outta the sink before he pees in it. (sees Annelle.) Who the hell are you?