Swimming with Sharks1994

Guy:
That's another thing. All this time that I've worked for you, I still don't know a thing about your ex-wife. Jesus, there's not even a trace or a picture in the whole house. Was she beautiful?

Buddy:
Yes.

Guy:
Did you love her?

Buddy:
Yes.

Guy:
How nice. When she coming home? [lights a cigarette] I forgot, she left you.

Buddy:
What do you want?

Guy:
What do I want? What do I want? [thinks for a moment] Tell me a story. Tell me about a young Buddy in love with a woman who just didn't want him. Was it a painful separation? Did you find her in the passionate throes of a secret lover? Did you take it from everything she had? Or did the lousy b*tch only get half?

Buddy:
She died.

Guy:
[taken aback] Oh. [sarcastically] Well, is that all? Well, boo-hoo! What a line. "My wife just died, can you come home with me. Hold me. Love me. F*** me." Christ, you are such an a**hole!

Buddy:
[numb] Christmas eve, twelve years ago. She was on her way to the mall. I was supposed to have gone with her. We hadn't started our Christmas shopping yet, but it was going to be simple, just some stuff for our parents. Money was tight and shopping was a hassle anyway. We even promised not to give each other gifts. On the way, there was a car that had broken down, Mallory pulled over to help. I always told her that she was such a busybody, but she called it "just being nice". She got out and asked if everything was all right, or something stupid. Anyway, it was a scam, bunch of punk kids stealing cars. They shot her. [pause] And all this time, I was stuck at the office wrapping Christmas gifts for my boss. A lot of gifts, we had a good year, that year - I was there till 3 A.M. And the whole time I'm thinking to myself, "Oh boy, she is gonna be pissed. When I get home, I am a dead man". [pause] Anyway, I got home, got the message, went down to the hospital to identify her. It was a whole week into the new year before I found them, these stupid wind up toys and a note: "In the constant rat race of life, don't ever forget to unwind". [pause] She was never any good at writing notes.

Guy:
[sheepish] Look, I didn't know...

Buddy:
Oh, Guy didn't know! imagine that! Boy genius here didn't know something!