Ratatouille2007

Remy:
It’s locked? Hmm...

[Remy goes into Skinner’s office]

Gusteau:
Remy, what are you doing in here?

Remy:
[harassed] Okay. Emile shows up with... Okay, I said not to. I told him! He goes and blabs to... Yeah, It’s a disaster! Anyway, they’re hungry, the food safe is locked, and I need the key.

Gusteau:
They want you to steal food?

Remy:
Yes. No! It’s... Ugh! It’s complicated. It’s family. They don’t have your ideals

Texan Gusteau:
Ideals? If Chef Fancy Pants had any ideals you think I'd be hawkin' barbecue over here?

Mexican Gusteau:
Or Microwave burritos?

Colonel Gusteau:
Yeah! Or tooth- I say, tooth-pickin' Chicken? About a French as a corn dog!

[The sketch of Gusteau as a dog-like ear of corn then barks and waves a coming soon sign]

Corndog Gusteau:
[barks] Rumming Roon!

Texan Gusteau:
Ha! We're inventin' new ways to sell out over here!

Scottish Gusteau:
Will ye' be wantin' some haggis bites, then?.

Gusteau:
I cannot control how they use my image Remy, I am dead!

Remy:
Will you guys SHUT UP?! [All the Gusteaus stop bickering instantly] I’ve gotta think! [Remy climbs over the edge of Skinner’s desk, pushes open the drawer, and begins to rummage through its contents] Word’s getting out and if I can’t keep them quiet...the entire clan’s going to be after me with their mouths open and- [he finds the key] --Ah! Here it is. Hey... [he notices a FILE labeled “Gusteau: Last Will & Testament”. He turns to the Gusteau portrait] ...your will! [pulls the file from the drawer and lays it on the desk] Oh, This is interesting. Mind if I--?

Gusteau:
Not at all.

Remy:
[He flips open the file. There, alongside Gusteau’s will, are recent press clippings featuring Linguini, and the letter to Skinner from Linguini’s mother] “Linguini”..? Why would Linguini be filed with your will?

Gusteau:
This used to be my office.

[The music starts to build as Remy reads; his eyes jumping between the letter and the will, his eyes getting bigger and bigger until...]

Remy:
HE'S YOUR SON?!

Gusteau:
[equally shocked] I have a SON?!

Remy:
How could you not know this?

Gusteau:
[defensively] I am a figment if your imagination. You did not know, how could I?

Remy:
Well, YOUR SON is the rightful owner of this restaurant!

[Just then, Skinner opens the office door and freezes, stunned by the bizarre sight of a rat on his desk top! Remy snatches the documents in his mouth.]

Skinner:
No...! NO!! THE RAT!!!

[He pounces for Remy, but the rat's too quick for him. Remy races out into the street. Hot on his heels, Skinner runs smack into Lalo on a moped.]

Lalo:
Sorry, Chef!

Skinner:
The rat! It's stolen my documents! It's getting away!

[Skinner pushes Lalo off the scooter, jumps on and roars off down the street. Skinner screeches to a stop at the intersection, looking around wildly for Remy. He sights the documents scampering through traffic and guns the motor, recklessly giving chase. Closing in on Remy, Skinner reaches down to snatch the documents when the rat suddenly veers. Skinner and his moped go plummeting down a flight of steps to the river, where it lays in a heap at the bottom. A gust from a passing bus sweeps the will from Remy’s jaws and high into the air, where it flutters out over the river’s edge. Seeing his chance, Skinner clambers aboard the moped and takes off after the will, dodging obstacles and passers-by to pursue from the banks below. Remy chases it from the balustrade above, the letter still in his mouth. The will begins to descend, flitting toward Skinner below, who reaches for it, his fingers spreading wide. Remy makes two desperate leaps; from the balustrade to a tree, from the tree into the air just above Skinner where he just intercepts the will, sailing toward the water and landing with a FWOP on the canvas roof of a Bateux Mouche. Refusing to lose, Skinner ditches the moped and leaps to the deck of the Seine boat. Remy, documents in mouth, leaps to another passing boat, Skinner still hot on his tail. A jam of water traffic keeps this game alive, the two leaping from boat to boat, but the leap, to a dining boat, is too far. Remy tries anyway; launching into the air, the documents in his mouth sweep back like WINGS and he catches an updraft! He sails across the gulf, landing miraculously on the deck. Skinner crazily follows, making the leap of his life as he stretches out for the dining boats’ railing and ultimately falls short, grasping instead the tablecloth of a couple dining near the railing, which he yanks out from under their breakfast like an inept magician as he plunges into the river. Skinner sputters in the middle of the Seine as Remy hops up to a bridge passing overhead, scampering safely away with Skinner’s papers.]