Penguins of Madagascar2014

[At the gold depository of Fort Knox]

Skipper:
Private, if you could have anything you wanted in the whole wide world, what would it be?

Private:
Well, gee, Skipper. I think to be a meaningful and valued member of this team.

Skipper:
Oh, well, we got you something else.

[Camera pans to a vending machine in the break room]

Private:
A vending machine?

Skipper:
Well, not just any vending machine, Private. The last remaining home in America's nanny states for those succulent and chemically-hazerdous bits of puffed heaven called...

Private:
[gasps] Cheezy Dibbles!

Skipper:
[gives Private a coin] Happy ding-dong birthday, ya little scamp!

[In response, Private pecks Skipper on the cheek, followed by Kowalski, finally giving one to Rico, only for the latter to hold Private for 10 seconds]

Skipper:
You mess with the bull, you get the horns, Private. Now hit that machine and get your present. [Private tosses the coin into the machine and tries to reach in the slot to get the bag] We just broke in the most secure facility in North America. Do you know what that means?

Kowalski:
We're wanted criminals who will be on the lam for the rest of their lives, always feeling the hot breath of Johnny Law on our necks?

Skipper:
No! It means, as elite units go, we're the elitist of the elite. Top shelf in the bureau. The penultimate... +1. [as Private struggles to get the packet out from the vending machine he ends up getting pulled into the machine] Where'd Private go?

[they walk over closer to the vending machine]

Kowalski:
Oh, there he is. [the penguins see Private is stuck up in the machine] D3.

Skipper:
Oh, Private. How much is he?

Kowalski:
He's $3.50, sir.

Skipper:
Well, that's outrageous... even for Private.

[Suddenly, an octopus tentacle comes out of the vending machine slot, grabs Rico and takes him into the machine]

Kowalski:
Sir, the machine is alive!

[the octopus tentacle comes out of the vending machine again and takes Kowalski]

Skipper:
[angrily] Well, I don't think I like your attitude, vending machine… or your prices! [in battle stance] Release them! [the tentacle comes back out and grabs Skipper in]