This Is the End2013

Seth Rogen:
[discussing the apocalypse] This sh*t's cray cray, guys. I mean, it's like, the real, like Apocalypse, it's like the Revel, Book of Revelations, like that means there's a God. Right? [Jay nods in agreement] I haven't led my life as though there's a God this whole time, who f***ing saw that coming that there's actually a God?

Jay Baruchel:
I-I'd say 95% of the planet.

Seth Rogen:
Jesus f***ing Christ, man.

Craig Robinson:
You might wanna stay away from saying that.

Seth Rogen:
"Jesus f***ing Christ"?

Craig Robinson:
Yes.

[Jay does the Holy Cross]

Seth Rogen:
Why? Why can't I say that?

Craig Robinson:
One of the 10 Commandments: "Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain".

Seth Rogen:
Jesus isn't the name of the Lord. God is the name of the Lord.

Craig Robinson:
Jesus, God. It's all the same.

Jay Baruchel:
It's the trinity.

Seth Rogen:
Jesus...

Craig Robinson:
Father, Son, Holy Ghost.

James Franco:
It's like Neapolitan ice cream.

Seth Rogen:
I don't even know what the f***ing Commandments are.

James Franco:
Guys, I think this is sort of bullshit, because...we're all good people. I can look at each one of you in the eye, I know you're good.

Seth Rogen:
I'm good.

James Franco:
We're four actors, we bring joy to people's lives!

Jay Baruchel:
Yeah, but we don't do it for free, we get paid handsomely, much higher than the average profession.

James Franco:
It's not like it was just handed to any of us, we've worked really hard to be here.

Craig Robinson:
Yeah, pretend like it's hot when it's cold.

Seth Rogen:
Oh.

Craig Robinson:
You sitting on the beach, it's freezing, you in your drawers, talking about something, everybody's surfing.

Seth Rogen:
[whispering] I think God might've just f***ed up, made a mistake and left us behind by accident! I mean, he's got a lot of sh*t on his plate!

Craig Robinson:
It's not oversight, it's not a mistake. Okay, we gotta face facts, we're here and there's a reason we're all here.

James Franco:
Wh-Why you so sure?

Craig Robinson:
I've- [sighs] I've done things, man, I... I gouged a man's eyeballs out.

Jay Baruchel:
What the?

Seth Rogen:
Oh, f*** off.

James Franco:
Craig.

Craig Robinson:
Well I was a kid, man, it was a f***in' bar fight. It was a bad football game, he said I didn't call spinneys and I f***in' called spinneys, he got all in my face and I smashed a bottle across his face...

Jay Baruchel:
[exhales deeply]

Craig Robinson:
And the first eyeball was an accident, but then I was, like, f*** it. And I went for the second one.

Seth Rogen:
[exhales deeply]

Craig Robinson:
It was f***ed up, but you know what? That sh*t happens, I'm saying that's... I think that's why I'm here.

James Franco:
I gotta admit something. I, uh.... I f***ed Lindsay Lohan. She was f***ed up, she was high. It was at the Chateau Marmont, she kept banging on my door.

Jay Baruchel:
[grunts]

James Franco:
She kept calling me Jake Gyllenhaal.

Seth Rogen:
That's f***ed up.

James Franco:
Yeah, I said, uh, "Call me the Prince of Persia".

Craig Robinson:
See, that's what I'm saying, man. We've all done bad sh*t, you know? We've done more bad sh*t than good in our lives and... [sighs] It's time to pay the piper.

[the power suddenly goes out]

Seth Rogen:
Whoa.

James Franco:
Oh, sh*t! Something's wrong! [whispers] God did this. [lights lighter] He gave us light, and then he took it away.

Jonah Hill:
[growling]

Jay Baruchel:
You hear that?! It's the soundtrack of us going insane.

Craig Robinson:
[worried about Jonah, whispering] Damn, I wish there was something we could do to help him.

Jay Baruchel:
I know what we can do. [blows out lighter]