A Thousand Clowns1965

Albert:
Miss Markowitz did not show up in Queens yesterday.

Murray:
So...

Albert:
Well, her parents are quite upset. I am quite upset. Where is she?

Murray:
She’s hiding in the closet.

Albert:
Now, we’re really all quite anxious to know where she is.

Murray:
I’m not kidding, Albert, she’s in the closet.

Albert:
[checks the closet, gazes at her momentarily, quickly closes the door, and goes back to talk with Murray] She is in the closet.

Murray:
I wouldn’t lie to you, Albert.

Albert:
Why is she in the closet?

Murray:
I don’t know, uh…she’s got this thing about closets.

Albert:
Well, that’s a very silly thing for her to be in, that closet.

Murray:
Well, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Now, what else can I do for you, Albert?

Albert:
That’s a difficult thing for me to believe...I mean, that she’s right there in the closet. You know, you are not a person, Mr. Burns, you are an experience!

Murray:
[laughing] That’s very nice, Albert. I’ll have to remember that.