Eight Legged Freaks2002

(Town hall)

Mayor Wade:
OK OK calm down, this is a town meeting, not the WWF!

Deputy Pete:
Mr Mayor, I say those who want to sell, sell!

Wade:
Look, company wants either all of our properties, or none of our properties. They are paying us handsomely and they are paying us, to relocate.

Deputy Pete:
...How do we know this isn't another of your get-rich schemes, like, building this mall out in the middle of nowhere?

Miner:
Or that ridiculous ostrich farm!

Wade:
It's good meat, it's healthy meat.

Harlan:
This is all just a government cover-up, isn't it?

(few people giggle)

Wade:
Harlan, what in God's name are you on about?

Harlan:
Then why are they willing to pay us so much money?

Wade:
We need the money to turn ourselves around. Unlike old man McCormack. God rest his soul. Now he's dead. As dead as those mines.

Chris McCormack:
(enters) You know those mines are filled with methane gas!

Wade:
Eh, this is a meeting for land owners only...

Chris McCormack:
Well I am a land owner, Wade. (Steps into light)

Wade:
(false cheeriness) Oh, Chris McCormack, I, didn't know you were back! (everyone turns amongst each other and begins to gossip)