The Departed2006

Ellerby:
[during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew] Staff Sergeant Dignam is our liaison to the the undercover department, his undercover work is extensive. He's here to give us his report. Sergeant Dignam.

Dignam:
OK. My people are out there. They're like f***in' Indians. You're not gonna see 'em you're not gonna hear about 'em except from me or Captain Queenan. You will not ever know the identity of undercover people. Unfortunately, this shithole has more f***in' leaks than the Iraqi Navy.

Ellerby:
F*** yourself.

Dignam:
I'm tired from f***in' your wife.

Ellerby:
How's your mother?

Dignam:
Good, she's tired from f***in' my father. Good. Today, girls, what I have for you is microprocessors. Somebody as you may already know stole 20 microprocessors from the Mass Processor Company out on Route 128. These are the kind of processors they put into computers that can put a cruise missile up the ass of a camel from a couple hundred miles away. Now get this, we get a guy working for the company two months; walks right out the front door with a box of processors on Tuesday, has a ticket booked for Florida on Wednesday, but on Thursday, he gets found in a dumpster. You know where that dirtball started his life? Southie projects.

Colin Sullivan:
What was his name? The departed?

Dignam:
Miles Kenefick. Got a job to forge U-Mass transcript. U-Mass Boston, which just happens to be-

Frank Lazio:
[interrupting] South Boston?

Dignam:
Well, you're a f***in' genius, huh! Who forged your transcript, d*ckhead?

Colin Sullivan:
Hey this guy, his old man runs the Hibernian Liquor Mart. Kenefick's.

Ellerby:
We're not here to solve the case of the missing scumbag, we're here to nail Costello.

Dignam:
Alright look. We got a guy who says he hears Costello's moving the processors to China. We set up a whole f***in' job in Pop Kenefick. You do not want to miss it if Costello takes a dump.

Ellerby:
We'd miss a lot less if you made your informants available to us at the cost of the Bureau. [Dignam scoffs]

Frank Lazio:
We're not asking for too many details. Do you have anyone in with Costello presently?

Dignam:
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe f*** yourself. My theory on Feds is they're like mushrooms. Feed 'em sh*t and keep 'em in the dark. You girls have a good day.

Ellerby:
Normally he's a very, uh, nice guy.